Austin Bible Church
All women receive a spiritual gift of helps at the moment of salvation. In Titus 2:3-4, the term “older women” is referring to a spiritually mature woman, one who has her edification complex of the soul completed and is ministering to younger immature women.
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” (Titus 2:3-4, NASB)
Teaching in the Home
The woman is almost the exclusive teacher of the very young and is very effective in teaching the young up to puberty in a local church. In the home, she will be teaching her sons and daughters until they leave home to pursue their own independent lives.
The husband is always authority in the home whether he is good or bad. The husband may not be leading spiritually in the home, but the wife does not assume the spiritual leadership if he is not! The husband may be unsaved or negative as a believer. Gen. 3:16; 1 Cor. 11:3; 1 Cor. 11:11-12; Eph. 5:23; 1 Peter 3:1; 1 Peter 3:7.
“To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."” (Genesis 3:16, NASB)
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:3, NASB)
“However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God.” (1 Corinthians 11:11-12, NASB)
“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” (Ephesians 5:23, NASB)
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,” (1 Peter 3:1, NASB)
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7, NASB)
In 1 Samuel 1-2, Hannah trained Samuel almost exclusively the first three years and her husband was a godly man. In Proverbs 31:1-2 and Proverbs 31:26, Bathsheba taught Solomon from childhood until he became king. He became a king before he was 20.
“The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him: What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows?” (Proverbs 31:1-2, NASB)
“She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26, NASB)
Teaching is enjoined on both parents. In Ephesians 6:4, “discipline” is παιδεία (paideia) and means to train by disciplining. “Instruction” is νουθεσία (nouthesia) and means admonition, exhortation, instruction. The wife is to remind her children of what their father has said are the ground rules, reminding them of the father’s authority. The father is to set an example by providing security, protection, discipline, and instruction as David did to Solomon.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4, NASB)
The woman will hold the family together by her instruction and training of the children when the father does not assume that responsibility. However, the father may (if positive to Bible doctrine) instruct in short bursts as per Proverbs and as such assumes the highest prerogative of a father, to teach his children. It is the mother however, who is constantly with the younger child and she will either reflect the teaching of the pastor-teacher or the father, or teaching the child herself. She does have authority over the child to teach as their mother. 2 Tim. 1:5-6; 1 Peter 3:1-2.
“For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” (2 Timothy 1:5-6, NASB)
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” (1 Peter 3:1-2, NASB)
The mother is a natural teacher and being a responder, it makes it much easier for her to teach if her husband is behind her. The father, as the breadwinner, is of necessity gone from the home most of the day. The priority for both the husband and wife should be to get daily face to face teaching of the Word. The husband is to teach if possible, but he should stand behind his wife who may be more articulate in teaching their children in the home.
The parents’ communication of doctrine to their children in the home is reflective of the Bible doctrine they have learned and their level of spiritual maturity. They communicate using the Word of God that is in their souls’ frame of reference from their authority over their children as parents. As long as one parent is positive to Bible doctrine, the child can be taught Bible doctrine.
Teaching Younger Women
The more mature women teach the younger women. Titus 2:3-4.
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” (Titus 2:3-4, NASB)
In Titus 2:4, “encourage” is σωφρονίζω (sōphronizō) and means restore one to their senses, to admonish, to exhort earnestly, to encourage. Stability of mentality comes from doctrinal teaching. This is spiritual sanity. “To love their husbands” means to have rapport with them. This indicates that women will have to learn biblical authority orientation in marriage. “To love their children” means they are taught the proper phileo love for their little ones. They are to communicate with them from the standpoint of authority and love. They are to train them, not to bribe them to be good.
In Titus 2:5, “sensible” is σώφρων (sōphrōn) and means to be of a sound mind, to be sane in one’s senses, curbing one’s desires and impulses, to be self-controlled, to be temperate. Since the woman is a responder, she may not have anything to respond to because she married a blank. In that situation, she needs to understand the doctrines surrounding authority orientation. The biggest occupation hazard of a married woman is to maintain her sanity even if she is having a lot of mental anguish.
“to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:5, NASB)
“Pure” is ἁγνός (hagnos) and means pure from carnality, chaste, modest, purity in mind and overt act. This is an admonition to keep scar tissue off of her soul. This may involve the temptation for extramarital sex which just fouls everything up. This can relate to the mental anguish that Christian women go through who have abortions and so on.
“Workers at home” is οἰκουρός (oikouros) and means literally a worker at home, a housekeeper. The television and internet ads notwithstanding, there is nothing glamourous concerning this. What does it take to enter into a God-glorifying housekeeping ministry? Your husband keeping you fulfilled constantly. He will not cater to you.
Your housekeeping is an extension of your mental attitude most of the time, consciously or unconsciously! Your mental response to your husband should be to keep a clean house even if he has through some type of brute behavior destroyed your volition or initiative.
Your housekeeping may reflect the chaos of your own mind, a type of rebellion or fighting back to a husband who is a kind of a jerk at times. You may have a lack of motivation in understanding what Christian service really all about. The woman performing house work is to maintain her filling of the Holy Spirit and be motivated by the unconditional mental attitude agapao love for her husband, keep the home headquarters clean. This is just as important as missionary service. Epignosis Bible doctrine in the soul is the only answer. The wife may have no interest in housekeeping and never did. The wife may rather drive a 10-ton truck or shovel ditches or hunt alligators.
Home is also the headquarters of your husband and family. If his ideas of housekeeping are reasonable (usually they are not), your response should be to please him. On the other hand, a clean house is not necessarily a happy house. A good housekeeper may be very critical of others.
In Titus 2:5, “kind” is ἀγαθός (agathos) and means divine viewpoint thinking that comes from being in fellowship and a daily diet of the Word of God. Being mentally sane can be a divine good work. Loving hubby and children properly is a divine good work. Having a pure mental attitude is a divine good work. Not being frustrated in your housekeeping ability and having a relaxed mental attitude toward it. This is divine good. This is being able to apply the doctrine of fellowship under sometimes tough conditions.
“Subject to their own husbands” is the present middle participle of ὑποτάσσω (hupotassō) and means to mentally, volitionally submit from your own free will. It is all tied up in authority orientation. A woman starts with φόβος (phobos) in her soul towards her husband which means reverence or respect for one’s husband, not terror. This reverence progresses to ὑπακούω (hupakouō) which means to listen, to harken, to concentrate on. Then, it finally progresses to hupotassō which is a fantastic mental attitude toward the divinely-delegated chain of command in marriage.
The present tense means to keep on being obedient to her husband as a habit of her life. The middle voice means that the wife wants to do this although there are two ways to keep house, to clean it and be mad about it or to clean it with the right mental attitude. It depends on her mental attitude. The participle presents the principle of being obedient and doing these often undesirable tasks as unto the Lord and making sure it is not human good.
The conclusion is “that the word of God will not be dishonored.” The wife’s mental attitude toward her husband is very important. The wife should have the same mental attitude toward her children and toward her home. It is the integrity of the Word of God that is at stake. As a married woman, the wife represents the Word of God, her Savior in the home.
How does the wife manage to cut it and please the Lord? She begins with a proper understanding of authority, of the chain of command in marriage - God, Christ, man, woman. When something is a mess, you never begin with a love approach. You must always begin with an understanding of authority. 1 Peter is the book for that. In 1 Peter 3, the divine design for authority in marriage is perfectly explained. 1 Cor. 11:3. See categories on Authority Orientation and Marriage, The Wife’s Responsibilities and Characteristics.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:3, NASB)