Austin Bible Church
If the woman does not have someone to which to respond, she becomes bitter, frustrated and may practice some form of escapism, such as clubs, drinking etc. The interrelationship between husband and wife must be one of cooperation rather than one of competition.
Before marrying, a woman should ask, “Can I willingly surrender my soul and body to this guy for life?” This submission is mental rather than sexual. Sex is an expression of this submission, but there must first of all be the mental attitude.
Agapao love is an unconditional mental attitude love. Sex is one of the many expressions of that love. Biological differences in the woman and man indicate that man is the initiator, the woman is the responder. Man is told to love the woman with mental attitude love. She will then respond with rapport love. Titus 2:4; Eph. 5:25.
“so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” (Titus 2:4, NASB)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB)
Women have certain special roles to play not common to the male of the human race. The woman may take on the role of a wife in marriage. She has the responsibility of submission and fulfiller. 1 Peter 3:1; 1 Cor. 11:7-12.
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,” (1 Peter 3:1, NASB)
“For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake. Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God.” (1 Corinthians 11:7-12, NASB)
She has the responsibility to understand in detail her husband. This is based on the analogy of Christ and the Church, that we might know Him. She is not responsible to initiate in the authority role. The man is the head of the wife. She responds to her husband, the capability of which is dependent in part on his proper expression of Ephesians 5:25.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB)
She takes care of her own sins. Deut. 24:16.
“"Fathers shall not be put to death for their sons, nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers; everyone shall be put to death for his own sin.” (Deuteronomy 24:16, NASB)
She is not responsible for the physical provision for the home. The man is the provider. However, this does not eliminate women in the field of work outside the home in business. She is responsible to bear children to her husband, to perpetuate his name and for personal blessings. The Scripture likens children to arrows and states that happy is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Becoming a mother brings a new dimension to life and greatly complicates it. As a mother, you have to deal with your volition, the volition of your husband and children and the results of that volition. You are responsible to teach your children. You have to learn Bible doctrine and how to stay in fellowship. You have to understand your husband’s authority in the discipline of the children. Deut. 6:6-9.
“"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. "You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9, NASB)
You have to recognize patterns in your life that may express one or more negative characteristics. You have to realize the alternative that you choose when you stop in your spiritual growth pattern and become negative to Bible doctrine. You have to realize the significance of the effect of your spiritual maturity on your husband as a preservative of him. The fragrance of memory that a man has regarding the beautiful relationship with his wife is a great deterrent to his being taken in by some other flattering female.
You have to understand that this will be an area of ministry to your husband, whether in the home, in the church, or otherwise. Wives need to get used to the idea that they will have to communicate on this subject with their husband. Wives need to see the pattern and expression of negative volition from the standpoint of how it is expressed through a woman’s makeup. Negative volition is expressed through promiscuity, fornication, unpleasantness, argumentativeness, etc.
You have to understand how the woman affects the man or other men with whom she has contact. Women can either make or wreck the ministry of the husband. Proverbs makes it very clear that the hazard is to the men and not to the women. It does not warn the women of staying away from the wolf, but it does warn the man to stay away from the femme fetale.
The woman has to realize that the man has a greater susceptibility to falling than the woman. This is true because when a man begins to listen to the flattery of a woman and begins to become amorous over her charms, he has entered the sphere of responder. Outside of the marriage relationship and his own wife, this type of initiation by a woman will destroy a man. Within the marriage relationship, there is initiation by the wife, and response by the husband. But, he still is the initiator in that he has set the stage for his wife’s initiation in their relationship.
See category on the Inner Beauty of the Woman.
See category on Marriage, The Wife’s Responsibilities and Characteristics.