Austin Bible Church
Proverbs 31:10-31 presents the doctrine of the Virtuous Wife and Mother using an acrostic when viewed in the original Hebrew. An acrostic is a poem or series of lines in which certain letters, usually the first in each line, form a name, motto, or message when read in sequence. An acrostic gives the reader two for one and the etymology of the word emphasizes one of these two. The Greek word for “acrostic” is akrostikhis, which is a combination of Greek akros meaning at the end or outermost and stikhos meaning a row or line of verse. Literally, akrostikhis means “the line at the end” emphasizing the fact that an acrostic has in addition to horizontal rows a vertical row formed of the letters at the end or start of each line. In ancient manuscripts in which a line of verse did not necessarily correspond to a line of text, an acrostic would have looked particularly striking with each of its lines standing by itself and beginning with a capital letter.
Prosperity and Happiness Are Based on Virtue
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:10 is א or Aleph and represents an ox which represented prosperity in an agricultural economy in Old Testament times. It also illustrates the principle that the height of human prosperity and happiness is the man with virtue and the right kind of woman for him brought together by God. The term “an excellent wife” in Proverbs 31:10 means a wife of strength, ability, integrity, or valor. Here, it is a technical word for capacity or virtue and represents the woman with virtue and capacity. Eccl. 9:9.
“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” (Proverbs 31:10, NASB)
“Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NASB)
Proverbs 31:10 says she is worth far more than jewels and is referring to a pearl, not gems mined from the ground. Pearls come from oysters and are formed from a grain of sand irritating the oyster. As a defense mechanism, the oyster secretes layers of a substance called nacre, which coats the sand grain and gradually builds up to create a beautiful pearl. This is symbolic of the man’s woman waiting for him. She is the pearl immersed in the water of Bible doctrine. Looking for Bible doctrine in her soul is the only way to find her!
The plural Hebrew word for “pearl” is פְּנִינִים (peninim). The pearl is about the only precious gem not related to the ground. It is related to the water, oysters, and sand. A genuine pearl has perfect symmetry. The virtuous woman has symmetry of soul, body, and most importantly, symmetry of compatibility. Everything about her is designed for her man by God the Father. Jesus Christ designed each man personally with this in mind. Everyone else is excluded. Whosoever discovers a virtuous woman with spiritual soul rapport with him receives what is good and obtains an object of delight from the Lord. Prov. 18:22.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22, NASB)
The phrase “who finds” in Proverbs 18:22 in the Hebrew is the qal imperfect of מצא (mâtsâ’) and means who can discover. The woman of capacity is the woman in God’s plan designed and destined for every man. How does the man know she is the right kind of woman for him? Size, shape, coloring, bone structure are not mentioned here because women come in all sizes, shapes, and descriptions. Even the same woman is entirely different from time to time. The virtuous woman will have certain physical and soul attributes that make her attractive to the man she meets. If the right combination of soul and physical attributes or “chemistry” are recognized by each other based on their application of Bible doctrine in their souls, the relationship will continue to grow. The woman is brought to the man by God, so the man must take the initiative with a gracious and loving attitude. Some guys are still waiting around to be introduced. The man makes the identification first and if it is true and not phony, she will begin to make some identifications of her own as they get to know each other.
Ecclesiastes 7:26-29 is a passage of bitterness because Solomon could never find the woman he thought he wanted. He had “discovered” a lot of women and had become bitter because they never lined up with his list of requirements. He had discovered everything, but never could find a woman that had that combination of physical chemistry and soul rapport that he expected. Unfortunately, he had little virtue love in his soul and was unable to recognize it in the women he looked for.
“And I discovered more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are chains. One who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her. “Behold, I have discovered this,” says the Preacher, “adding one thing to another to find an explanation, which I am still seeking but have not found. I have found one man among a thousand, but I have not found a woman among all these. “Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices.”“ (Ecclesiastes 7:26-29, NASB)
Prosperity for the human race is a virtuous man identifying his “opposite number” that exhibits the same soul rapport. That is the ultimate in human happiness. Some of you think prosperity is having money, traveling, a nice home, clothes, and partying. It’s finding the virtuous woman that God meant for you to find. God also taught you the Bible doctrine in your soul that allowed you to recognize her.
Home Is Where Your Woman Lives
The first letter of the original Hebrew of Proverbs 31:11 is ב or Beth and represents a house or dwelling and illustrates the principle that where a husband’s virtuous wife is located becomes his home. To the husband, home is not a building, but wherever his wife is located. To the wife, home is wherever her husband is located.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” (Proverbs 31:11, NASB)
In Proverbs 31:11, “The heart of her husband” refers to the right lobe of his soul or heart (לב - lêb in the Hebrew). This includes the frame of reference, memory center, conscience, vocabulary storage, categories, norms and standards and divine viewpoint. When he finds his wife to be, all these facets of the heart have an application. She also has a right lobe or heart filled with Bible doctrine.
Long before there is any touching, there is a mutual frame of reference and mutual conscience. There is a soul climax or soul burning (not libido). The word “trusts” is the qal perfect of בּטח (bâṭach) and means to have confidence. It means that he has perfect confidence in his wife when he is away from her. The opposite is also true for the wife having trust or confidence in her husband when he is away from home on a business trip.
The right lobe of her soul sees her husband as lord. Only a virtuous woman who has been discovered by her soul mate can call him lord! No virtuous woman ever finds her man until her soul and her body looks at that one man and think of him as lord. This was the case for Bathsheba in 1 Kings 1:17 and 1 Kings 1:31 and with Sarah in 1 Peter 3:5-8.
“She said to him, “My lord, you swore to your maidservant by the LORD your God, saying, ‘Surely your son Solomon shall be king after me and he shall sit on my throne.’“ (1 Kings 1:17, NASB)
“Then Bathsheba bowed with her face to the ground, and prostrated herself before the king and said, “May my lord King David live forever.”“ (1 Kings 1:31, NASB)
“For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;” (1 Peter 3:5-8, NASB)
The virtuous husband and wife should have full confidence whenever the other is away from home. The husband should have full trust in his wife that she will not flirt, tease, drink with some other guy, become involved with another guy in some way, or be unfaithful sexually, socially, or mentally. This is the kind of woman every military man must have! When he is out fighting wars and doing his job, he has perfect confidence that his wife thousands of miles away is totally faithful to him in every way. Probably more than any other profession, the military needs the virtuous woman in the marriage.
A man can’t have “love security of the soul” with any woman, but his wife or potential wife. Other women may be attracted to the husband and such advances can be an ego booster, but responding to such advances shows a lack of virtue in the man. Of course, the opposite is also true for the wife who may be gorgeous and she may know it, but in her soul, her virtue love for her husband easily overrides the sin nature’s temptation to respond to anyone but her husband. That is soul rapport based on Bible doctrine in the soul! This soul rapport is what God has planned for the believer in marriage who is positive to Bible doctrine.
Once a woman finds the man for her, she is just not interested in any one else! The result is that she does not flirt with other men, she does not want to be a tease, and most importantly, she is not going to smile at her husband and think about some other guy. When other men ask her to go out, she makes it perfectly clear to them that she has no interest in them and that they are out of line for asking. If some friends ask her to go to a party when her husband is away to cheer her up, she tells them that she doesn’t need cheering up.
A Husband’s Wife Is His Pleasure in Life
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:12 is ג or Gimel and represents a camel which refers to a traveler who has gained much knowledge about different subjects. The camel was a blessing in ancient times because it brought the merchandise and goods that pleased people. The principle illustrated here is that a husband’s virtuous wife is his pleasure in life.
“She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:12, NASB)
The phrase “She does him good” in Proverbs 31:12 refers to the virtuous wife who does not make life miserable for her husband. The Hebrew word for good is טוֹב (tob) and is the same word as in Genesis 2:18. She shows him a lot of good and causes him a lot of good. This is the way a virtuous woman is to function.
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”“ (Genesis 2:18, NASB)
The phrase “and not evil” in Proverbs 31:12 refers to the fact that a wife with Bible doctrine in her soul brings pleasure and happiness into the life of her husband, not trouble or difficulty. The phrase “all the days of her life” refers to the fact that she lives one day at a time. This phrase is intensive in the Hebrew and emphasizes that every day she does him good and not evil.
The Wife with Virtue Makes Many Decisions to Please Her Husband
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:13 is ד or Daleth and represents a door and refers to decisions. The virtuous wife makes many decisions to please her husband. It’s not necessarily things she wants to do, but things she decides to do that are based on virtue love in her soul for her husband. Some of you ladies may not think of yourselves as good housekeepers. How you keep your house is not even an issue in this verse. In fact, this passage indicates that some men have wives who are business women.
“She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight.” (Proverbs 31:13, NASB)
Some husbands have wives that are good housekeepers and others have wives who have careers in the business world. This passage is not a treatise on good housekeeping because that is a matter of talent, energy, and ability. Any unbelieving wife can keep a beautiful home. Some of you single women may think that you will never find a good husband because you can’t cook or keep house. That won’t make any difference when you meet the right guy and recognize the Bible doctrine in his soul. The combined physical chemistry and soul rapport will tell you if he is the one for you or not.
The phrase “she looks” in Proverbs 31:13 is the qal perfect of the Hebrew word דּרשׁ (dârash) which means she searches diligently for wool and flax. This means that she dresses to please her husband. Wool and flax were materials used for the manufacturing of clothing in the ancient world. The wife made her own clothes or bought them off of a caravan. Wool clothing was used for colder weather and flax clothing for warmer weather.
The principle illustrated here is the virtuous wife dresses to please her husband and no one else. She cleans her house for the same reason. She does not dress to impress other women or other men! Her soul is so occupied with her husband that she is motivated to always appear in clothing that he appreciates. There is something wrong with a woman who dresses to impress other women or other men such as celebrities or relative strangers.
The virtuous wife only dresses and undresses for her husband. She is always searching diligently for the things that will please her husband. Some men complain that their wives spend so much time shopping. Don’t knock it if she’s doing it to please you! If she goes to the dress shop to look nice for you, you have got to have rocks in your head to knock it! And you ladies, if you are taking care of everybody else’s needs and you are neglecting your husband and your house, you should reset your priorities back to your husband and place others’ needs down on the list.
For the single man, if you are dating a girl who dresses to impress women or other people who she may or may not have met or dresses in her finest to go to a party where you are not present - you are probably not dating your wife to be. This is a good test! If, when you are gone, the woman you are dating goes to a party and dresses up in her finest which you have never even seen yet, she is probably not the one for you. If she is more interested in pleasing others than you, then you should “get the message” and move on.
The principle here is that she is making decisions where you are not even in the picture. If you are not in her soul, she is probably not the one for you. A wife with Bible doctrine in her soul should do things the way she thinks her husband wants them to be so when he gets home, he is pleased with what he sees. The wife should clean the house the way she thinks her husband would want it. She should dress the way she thinks her husband would want her to dress. When she cook meals, she should want to cook them exactly the way she knows her husband likes them. She should also manage the household affairs the way she and her husband have agreed they should be managed.
The phrase “works with her hands in delight” in Proverbs 31:13 means she literally works with her hands and has her husband in her mind. The drudgery is gone because of what she is thinking. I understand that housework such as making beds, cleaning rugs and carpets, and cooking meals is often drudgery. However, the wife with Bible doctrine in her soul does these things willingly because her husband is also in her soul.
The Wife with Virtue Love Makes an Extra Effort to Please Her Husband
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:14 is ה or He and represents a window and the wife’s perspective. There are at least three types of wives categorized for the husband in this passage. The first category is the domestic woman. The second category is the business woman. The third category is the woman who supports a handicapped man, or an evangelist or pastor-teacher in training who is unable to work while devoting all of his time to the intense training for the ministry.
“She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.” (Proverbs 31:14, NASB)
Proverbs 31:14 illustrates the principle that the virtuous wife has become like the merchant’s ships of the ancient world in that she makes the extra effort to get foods that are pleasing to her husband. The wife doesn’t spend all of her time at the quick local grocery stores that offer a poor selection. She is so occupied with her husband’s preferences that she makes an extra effort to please him.
In the ancient world, ships would sail out from the Mediterranean Sea through the Strait of Gibraltar and trade up and down the west coast of Africa. They were very adventuresome. Solomon sent out merchant ships that came back with apes and peacocks. So, like the merchant ships, she is adventuresome for her husband. The phrase “She brings” is the hiphil imperfect and causative active voice of the Hebrew word בּוא (bô’) and means that she causes it to be brought. Just as a merchant ship goes great distances to find interesting things, so the spiritually mature wife goes to extra effort to bring something to her husband that is pleasing to him. She looks out of the window of life and does everything with him in perspective. The literal translation of Proverbs 31:14 is, “She has become like the ships of the merchant man, from afar she causes her food to be brought.” The analogy is that she places her primary interest in her husband which could be associated with many different things.
The Virtuous Wife’s Mental Attitude Is the Key to the Household
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:15 is ו or Waw and represents a nail, peg or hook. The principle here is that the virtuous wife is the peg upon which the household hangs. Her mental attitude is the key to the household. The household includes the wife, her husband, children, maids, and everything else. The husband, as this passage teaches, can be out of sorts and things still move along. The children can be out of sorts and things still go on. When the wife is out of sorts, it’s the end of the line and nothing goes right. A man may take undeserved criticism and be under pressures in the working world, but to come home to a wife who has not handled her responsibilities to manage the household will really make work tough for him.
“She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.” (Proverbs 31:15, NASB)
Proverbs 31:15 indicates that the virtuous wife is the key to the household. The husband may be the king in the house, but it is the queen who is important. The phrase “She rises” is the qal imperfect of the Hebrew word קוּם (qûm) pronounced “koom” and means to rise up for a purpose. Some people get up in the morning without a purpose. They just wander through the day trying to find themselves. Life has no meaning for them and they have no capacity for life.
The phrase “while it is still night” indicates an excellent mental attitude. You have to have it when it’s dark. She is motivated with occupation with her husband. She places her love for him above her personal comfort. It is not necessarily still comfortable for her to get up while it is still dark, but her husband’s happiness is more important to her than her own comfort. This is a phenomenal mental attitude! Women are not constructed usually to get up very early - especially before everyone else. When you find a man who is more important to you than your own comfort, you know you have found the right kind of man for you.
The phrase “gives food to her household” means that she sees to it that all of the household is fed on time and that the “launching pad” of energy for her husband is ready when expected to get him going in the morning for work. She also sees that everything is in order for their children because they are a reminder of something she shares with him.
The phrase “and portions to her maidens” means that she has assigned jobs to those hired to help her manage the household. The principle here is that she is the key to the running of the house. She may do it herself, or she may have help. The woman is head of her household. She gives food and tells her maids what to do.
The Business Woman
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:16 is ז or Zayin and represents a sword or weapon. It represents the wife with virtue love who is aggressive in her responsiveness. This is the business type of woman. The phrase “She considers” is the qal perfect of the Hebrew word זמם (zâmam) and means to consider a business proposition. This is a woman in business who is using good business thinking. The principle here is that all wives are not household types. That goes way back to the ancient world. Women were in business then and women are in business today. Some wives are in the office while others are in the home. They do not follow a pattern.
“She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard.” (Proverbs 31:16, NASB)
The phrase “buys it” in Proverbs 31:16 is the qal imperfect of לקח (lâqach) in the Hebrew and means to seize. She sees possibilities of the land and she jumps in there and gets it before anyone else. She outdid her male competitors. She had a good business mind and she pounced on it. She got it right now while everybody else was still consulting with their board of directors. Proverbs 31:16 goes on to say that with her capital, she plants a vineyard. This wife pleases her husband with business deals, just like another wife pleases her husband in the home.
The Husband Is a Protective Enclosure for His Wife
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:17 is ח or Heth and represents an enclosure or a fenced-in area. The principle here is that the wife is always enclosed by her husband. She is inside of the fence. No matter whether she is a domestic manager or whether she is a business woman, she belongs to one man only! Her soul and her body are at his disposal. What does a woman do when she is fenced in? No two women are the same.
“She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong.” (Proverbs 31:17, NASB)
The phrase “She girds herself with strength” means to encircle and has to do with her sexual response to her husband and means literally that she encircles her sexual response with his strength. His strength is her protection. They have a soul relationship, but this describes the physical relationship. The important point is that she responds to only one man! She is always faithful to him. Sex is designed for the husband and wife in marriage only.
The phrase “And makes her arms strong” in Proverbs 31:17 is the piel imperfect of אמץ (‘âmats) in the Hebrew and means to encourage. She encourages him with her arms as in her embrace. She embraces within the fence of her husband. Remember ladies, friendship love (phileo) is not a touching love. You can have male friends, but no touching! The embrace is only for your husband.
The Wife with Virtue Associates with Her Husband
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:18 is ט or Teth and represents a relationship or an association and means to roll together. The principle here is that the virtuous wife associates with her husband. The word “senses” means to perceive and the word “gain” means to profit. She perceives that her husband is good for her always. The phrase “is good” comes from the Hebrew word טוֹב (tob) and means they have a good relationship around the clock.
“She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night.” (Proverbs 31:18, NASB)
The phrase “Her lamp does not go out at night” illustrates that her lamp (prosperity and happiness) shall not go out. The phrase “go out” is the qal imperfect of כּבה (kâbâh) in the Hebrew and means to be extinguished by night which refers to adversity or a disaster period. This is the quintessence of happiness. She is both stimulated and in a state of permanent happiness because of her relationship and association with her husband. This is maximum human happiness.
The Wife Is Occupied with Things That Bless Her Husband
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:19 is י or Yodh and represents the hand. The principle here is that the hands of the wife are occupied with those things that bless her husband. She does not give him cause for concern. She does not flirt with or tease other men. She does not play games and is not vindictive. The hand of the virtuous wife is constructive, not destructive.
“She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle.” (Proverbs 31:19, NASB)
The phrase “She stretches out her hands to the distaff” refers to a staff on a turning basin where yarn wraps around it and feeds the sewing machine. The result is woven cloth. The phrase “And her hands grasp the spindle” is the piel imperfect of שׁלח (shâlach) in the Hebrew and means to handle the machine with dexterity. The meaning here is that she has skillful hands and fingers. It does not mean that all women have to sew. It means her hands are an extension of her soul. In her soul, she is occupied with one man and is doing something to please that one man.
The Spiritually Mature Wife Is the Overflow of Grace to Others
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:20 is ך or Kaph and represents the hollow of a hand. The principle here is that the spiritually mature wife is the overflow of grace to others. Because she is so happy with her husband, this happiness overflows to others.
“She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy.” (Proverbs 31:20, NASB)
The phrase “she stretches out her hand to the needy” uses the Hebrew word פּרשׂ (pâraś) and means to extend out or to spread with her hands. This also means to extend her help to the poor, afflicted, and the needy. She does this for people with genuine needs, not to impress others.
The Wife Anticipates Certain Types of Disaster and Heads Them off
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:21 is ל or Lamedh and represents an ox goad and represents that she keeps the ox moving in the fields. The principle here is that the virtuous wife’s faithfulness to her husband enables her to prepare for pressures and disasters in life.
“She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet.” (Proverbs 31:21, NASB)
In the phrase “not afraid of the snow” contains the negative plus the qal imperfect of יָרֵא (yare) in the Hebrew and means to not be afraid. The snow represents the disasters in life that can be anticipated. In this case, everyone who lives in the north knows it is going to snow in winter. They anticipate what will be needed to keep warm because they know it is going to get cold. The virtuous wife anticipates certain types of disaster and heads them off.
The phrase “For all her household are clothed with scarlet” contains the qal passive participle of the Hebrew word לבשׁ(lâbash) and means “are being clothed.” The phrase “with scarlet” contains the Hebrew word שׁני (shânı̂y) which is a dual word and means double red clothing or double scarlet clothing warm and rich in color to keep you warm in extreme cold. This also refers to a woman’s love instincts whereby she clothes her husband with a double warmth of her love (soul and sex).
There are certain times of the year when snow and cold can be anticipated, long before the snow arrives. Therefore, long before that, the spiritually mature wife has made provision for such cold weather. Once a virtuous woman finds her husband to be and marries him, there are certain instincts of love which head off many disasters. Her instincts of love keep her concentrating on him. She doesn’t flirt, tease, try to hurt others, or play games to make her husband jealous. She no longer depends upon parties, outside friends, or fun and games. She doesn’t try to hurt her husband in her social life or activities.
The Well Is the Virtuous Wife
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:22 is ם or Mem and represents water and is often used to represent Bible doctrine. It also means water in a fountain or water in a well and is used for a virtuous husband and wife relationship. The well is the virtuous wife. The fountain is the sex drive of the husband. Eph. 5:26; Prov. 5:15-20.
“She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.” (Proverbs 31:22, NASB)
“so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” (Ephesians 5:26, NASB)
“Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?” (Proverbs 5:15-20, NASB)
The phrase “She makes” in Proverbs 31:22 is the qal perfect of עָשָׂה (asah) in the Hebrew. In the ancient world, the woman had to manufacture the accessories for the bed. The phrase “coverings for herself” refers to her clothing which was fine linen and purple. The qal active participle of the Hebrew word for clothing is לבוּשׁ(lebûsh) and means she is being clothed constantly. Silk is very fine white fabric and purple signifies wearing beautiful clothing for her husband, even expensive.
This is just the opposite of many females today. The wife should make the bed as beautiful as possible and in the house makes herself as beautiful as possible. The wife who dresses her bed and her body to please her husband is fantastic. Many wives hang around the house looking like a zombie. The only time they will dress up is when they go out. If you look terrible at the start of the day when your husband is around, great through the part when he is gone and then back in the grubbies when he is home, that is abnormal! This is all backwards!
Ladies are not to dress up to impress a bunch of other women. Would you rather receive compliments from your husband or from some female acquaintance? This also applies to you single ladies. Some of you have little personal discipline. Someday the right kind of man is going to come into your life and he’s going to expect you to look good when he is around.
The spiritually mature wife should make herself physically attractive to her husband through proper dress, but more importantly she should make herself spiritually attractive to her husband through Bible doctrine.
The word “couch” in Song of Solomon 1:16 refers to the bed and the fact that the bed is to be the most attractive piece of furniture in the whole house. It ought to be better than anything else. She reflects her mental attitude in the way she decorates the bedroom. Remember, your bedroom is to be a private room between you and your husband. People generally do not see it. Lots of you spend all your money on your living room. That’s where you see all your friends and that’s your showplace. You should dress up your bedroom to be the most attractive room in the house.
““How handsome you are, my beloved, And so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant!” (Song of Solomon 1:16, NASB)
The Husband Can Concentrate on His Job Without Distraction
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:23 is ן or Nun and represents a fish standing up on its tail and represents concentration. The husband of the virtuous wife can concentrate on his job without distraction. He can concentrate on his job if he doesn’t have problems at home, or an alcoholic at home stumbling over the furniture. The principle is that the wife makes it possible for her husband to leave the house and concentrate on his profession, on his job, whatever he has to do in life.
“Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.” (Proverbs 31:23, NASB)
The phrase “Her husband” in Proverbs 31:23 uses the Hebrew word בּעל (ba‛al) and means her lord and master. Things really settle down and get sorted out when a wife can look at her husband and think of him as lord. The phrase “is known in the gates” contains the niphil participle of ידע (yâda‛) in the Hebrew indicating that the husband is an administrator of city government. This refers to the meeting of the city council. It means literally that he is her lord when he sits among the rulers of the land. This is a place of prominence and authority. The principle here is that the virtuous wife compliments and implements, but never competes with her husband. She is his glory. She stimulates him and seduces him, but does not belittle or criticize him.
The Wife Supports Her Husband
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:24 is ס or Samekh and represents a prop, fulcrum, or support. The principle here is that the virtuous wife supports her husband with fanatical loyalty and love. The woman in this verse supported her husband and earned the living because the husband was handicapped. This is the third category of the virtuous wife previously discussed.
“She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen.” (Proverbs 31:24, NASB)
She does not take away from his masculinity. She does not compete with him, does not put him down, and does not ridicule him. The Hebrew word for “makes” is the qal imperfect of עָשָׂה (asah) and means she manufactures it. The Hebrew word for “linen” is סדין (sâdı̂yn) and means undergarments. The Hebrew word for “sells” is the qal imperfect of מכר (mâkar). The Hebrew word for “supplies” is נתן (nâthan) and means she sells on consignment undergarments she has made to the Phoenicians or Canaanites. They then traveled throughout the ancient world and sold them. The fact that her husband was not earning the wages is a matter of privacy and never hinders the relationship. You should thank the Lord that you are not in this situation.
The Wife Is the Glory of Her Husband
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:25 is ע or Ayin and represents a fountain and an eye. Here, it refers to the fountain as the male sex drive as in Proverbs 5:15 and Proverbs 5:18. This refers again to the fact that the virtuous wife is the glory of her husband and she wears his glory in her soul. This verse emphasizes the glory of the woman’s soul, which includes a woman having a sense of humor.
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.” (Proverbs 31:25, NASB)
“Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well.” (Proverbs 5:15, NASB)
“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18, NASB)
The Hebrew word for “strength” in Proverbs 31:25 is עז (‛ôz) and means a fortification, stability, glory, majesty, and splendor. Here, it denotes soul stability, soul majesty, soul glory, and soul splendor from her relationship with her husband. The whole point is the inner beauty of soul based on Bible doctrine. The Hebrew word for “dignity” in Proverbs 31:25 is הדר (hâdâr) and means glamor or ornamental glamor. The Hebrew word for “smiles” is the qal imperfect of שׂחק (śâchaq) and means she will laugh at the next day. It means a very deep seated laughter based on a relaxed mental attitude, humor, and her soul’s inner beauty. She keeps on laughing because of the double portion of grace given to her from God. She has received grace from learning Bible doctrine and by having her husband.
Why is she laughing? She laughs because her husband is with her, they have a perfect relationship of soul and body, and her soul is prepared for the next day. The laughter here refers to the total satisfaction of a wife-husband relationship which means soul and body. At this point, in the presence of her husband, she is not clothed with anything else. Her body and soul are naked to him and she receives maximum satisfaction so she is fulfilled and can laugh at the next day.
In this context, there are three categories of women. There is the housewife who laughs at the fact that she will be around the house working the next day. There is the business woman who laughs at the fact that she will be around the office the next day. She has her loving husband at the end of the day! There is the bread-winning woman who laughs because she is going to have a tough day tomorrow because she has to reach a certain quota for the Phoenician traders. Instead of dreading, instead of becoming weary about tomorrow, she laughs! This is spiritual self-confidence regarding the future.
The Virtuous Wife Speaks Wisdom
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:26 is פ or Pe and represents the mouth. This deals with verbal conversation between the wife and husband. When she opens her mouth, her soul is turned inside out. Wisdom comes out when she talks.
“She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26, NASB)
The Hebrew word for “opens” in Proverbs 31:26 is פָּתַח (pathach) and means to connect the thoughts of the soul with verbal or audible communication. The literal translation of this phrase is, “Her mouth she opens with doctrine.” The Hebrew word for “wisdom” is חכמה (chokmâh) and means Bible doctrine in the right lobe of the soul. This is the same as the word for knowledge in the New Testament which is epignosis which means the full knowledge of Bible doctrine in the soul and is used in Colossians 1:10. Even though she is a responder, Bible doctrine protects her and she is not impressed with impressionable things such as celebrities or history. To her, Bible doctrine is fantastic.
“so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;” (Colossians 1:10, NASB)
The phrase “the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” in Proverbs 31:26 uses the Hebrew word תּורה (tôrâh) for “teaching” which means the law of doctrine communicated. The Hebrew word for “kindness” is חֶסֶד (chesed) and means literally “on her tongue, the law of grace.” The law of grace keeps her from maligning, gossiping, or being vindictive.
The virtuous wife doesn’t malign others, or undermine them, or express mental attitude sins about others, or judge them. She has plenty of bona fide things to occupy her time. The worst troublemakers in any local church are the frustrated females who spend their time tearing down others.
The Wife Knows the Needs, Joys, and Difficulties of Her Household
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:27 is צ or Tsadhe and represents a reaping hook. This is the principle of the harvest of the virtuous wife’s soul. The phrase “She looks well to the ways of her household” contains the qal active participle of the Hebrew word צפה (tsâphâh) and means to be alert or to keep watch. She is alert to the needs, the joys, and the difficulties of her household. The phrase “And does not eat the bread of idleness” means her soul is not fat, slow, and repulsive. She is animated because of her virtue love and esteem for her husband.
“She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27, NASB)
The Influence of the Mother Gives the Son an Appreciation for Womanhood
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:28 is ק or Qoph and represents the back of the head or the subconscious and refers to flashbacks or retrospection. The children may not be happy at the time, but they remember her.
“Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:” (Proverbs 31:28, NASB)
The phrase “Her children rise up” in Proverbs 31:28 means when they grow up, their mature evaluation is that their mother is great! That is why you have to leave your mother when you mature. The man always leaves his mother and should never go back home to live. If a marriage doesn’t work out, the daughter may go back to her mother, but never the son! It is the influence of the mother that gives him an appreciation for womanhood.
The phrase “and bless her” is the piel imperfect of the Hebrew word אשׁר(‘âshar) and means to be happy or to make happy. The literal translation is, “Her sons grow up and recall her with happiness.” Here, the mother teaches her son and the same is true for the father teaching his daughter. The son will appreciate his mother and the daughters their father because he protects the daughter.
The Hebrew word for “husband” is בּעל (ba‛al) and means her lord. The phrase “he praises her” is the piel imperfect of הָלַל (halal) and means that because a father loves to have a great son, when he has this type of son, he turns around and praises the mother intensively.
The Husband Recognizes His Wife as Unique and Exceptional
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:29 is ר or Resh and refers to the head or the frontal lobe. Up to this point, we have been dealing with sons growing up. Now, we come to daughters growing up. The phrase “Many daughters have done nobly” in Proverbs 31:29 is עָשָׂה (asah) + חיל (chayil) and means accomplished or done virtuously. The word chayil means strength in a man, but it means ability, talent, integrity, virtue, and good character in a woman.
““Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”“ (Proverbs 31:29, NASB)
The phrase “But you excel them all” is the qal perfect of עלה (‛âlâh) for excel and means to surpass. This means that in a world of many fantastic women of ability, beauty, character, spirituality, and maturity, a husband should feel that his wife and only his wife surpasses all others. The husband may have some admiration for other women, He may recognize them as beautiful, talented, or full of integrity, or the opposite. However, the husband with virtue love in his soul for his wife will view her as the only one for him.
The Husband Recognizes His Virtuous Wife by Her Soul Beauty
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:30 is ש or Shin means a tooth from the lower jaw and refers to eating. This verse shows the result of a wife taking in Bible doctrine every day. The result is occupation with Christ or maximum love toward Jesus Christ.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, NASB)
The Hebrew word for “charm” in Proverbs 31:30 is חן (chên) and means elegant or glamorous beauty. Some women are very beautiful, but you men should never identify your wife-to-be only on the basis of her physical beauty. The phrase “charm is deceitful” means outward beauty can be a lie. Let’s say you guys come to church and you try to find the most beautiful woman there. Also, you ladies try the same thing by looking for the most handsome guy. Once you get a good look at them, you should never conclude in your soul that they must be the one for you. Beware of this approach! Wait until they talk! This verse is saying that everything that is attractive on the outside does not mean the soul will be just as attractive. You must use the Bible doctrine in your soul to evaluate. This takes time. Take the time to get to know what is in their soul. That is the real person.
Some of you guys are looking for a Christian Miss America and unfortunately, most are already married. This passage is difficult. There are some very glamorous women in the world and many of them are already married, but you are not to identify your potential wife on this basis! If she is married, she is not for you, so hands off!
The phrase “beauty is vain” contains the Hebrew word הבל (hebel) and means useless or empty. A man may be attracted to the glamorous and attractive outward beauty, but this is not the basis for recognition of your wife to be. This disregards the soul. Recognition signals are not related to the body, but to the soul. In 1 Corinthians 7:9, the burning comes before the body. If it was the other way around, the honeymoon would come before the marriage and that is not the way it should be!
“But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9, NASB)
Many women may be beautiful, but don’t identify your potential wife on that basis. You must see something in her soul. Courtship involves talking and thereby seeking to discover the content in her soul. What are you ever going to discover in a woman’s soul if you are grabbing the body? There will be plenty of time for that when you meet the woman for you and after you get married.
Solomon fell into this trap. He was a body scanner. All he did was chase beautiful women. He collected 1,000 of them, but not one of them could he pour into his mold. Why? The woman is a gift to the man! When Solomon met the Shulammite Woman, she was totally occupied with her Shepard Lover. Solomon in all his glory couldn’t even get close to her. The Shepherd Lover was in her soul while Solomon was trying to get to her body.
This does not imply that your potential wife will not have a beautiful body. A beautiful body is not God’s way of identifying your potential wife. Look into her soul. Is it filled with divine viewpoint based on Bible doctrine? One day you will discover the most beautiful body in the world because it was made just for you. You women are suckers to let every good looking guy you like touch you and check you out. When the right man comes along, he may want to reach over the table and touch you or reach under the table and touch you, but somewhere you have got to talk! Identification takes time and conversation. So control your hands when you go on that date. You are to recognize her soul first, then you are to spend the rest of your married life having glorious experiences.
The occupational hazard of being a beautiful woman is pride, indolence, lust, bad temper and becoming spoiled. It takes a lot more virtue in a man to recognize a glamorous, beautiful woman as the one for him if she is arrogant and spoiled. Women who have been told by everyone how beautiful they are can become filled with approbation lust and believe too much in their beauty as being the most important thing in life. When you ladies look at yourselves in the mirror and admire yourselves, you are emphasizing the wrong thing! You are asking for trouble because you are emphasizing the wrong things! You need a beautiful soul first! Some beautiful women never have identified the right potential husband for them because they are stuck on themselves and their beautiful body.
The phrase “But a woman who fears the Lord” in Proverbs 31:30 has no verb - only a noun. This sentence form in the Hebrew is stronger than a verb and it means the woman occupied with the Lord shall be praised. The phrase “She shall be praised” is a strong passive and means literally that glamor is a lie, beauty is empty and useless. It also means that the woman occupied with the Lord shall receive praise from the man she is dating or the husband she has married. If she has her soul full of Bible doctrine, the woman will be identified and she shall be praised. This is the soul rapport.
The Virtuous Wife Desires Her Husband’s Touch
The first Hebrew letter of Proverbs 31:31 is ת or Taw and refers to a sign or signature. This is the wife in private with her husband. The phrase “Give her the product of her hands” in Proverbs 31:31 is the woman in touching.
“Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:31, NASB)
The word “give” in the Hebrew is נתן (nâthan) and literally means for the husband to give unto his wife a loving touch, which is the tactical response to her touching him. This husband’s touch is in response to her loving touch. A wife will want to get her hands on her husband. A woman who responds becomes aggressive with her hands and her lips. The man has initiated so she wants to touch him all over.
This is dedicated to the Christian women who have been taught wrongly by some dear old Christian pastor that your wifely duty is to live out your life never enjoying the loving touch that is so precious in marriage. It is a soul response that drives the physical response! The soul rapport is what you should seek with all of your soul. This is why the spiritual life in marriage is such a wonderful thing - if it is based on the virtue love of both.