Marriage, The Husband’s Responsibilities

God has instituted responsibilities for each spouse in marriage that if followed will make it successful. The husband and wife each have a responsibility, a duty to each other. 1 Cor. 7:3.

“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3, NASB)

Leadership Authority

The husband is the authority in the marriage. He is to use that leadership authority in love for his wife. Leadership entails responsibility with 51% of the responsibility belonging to the husband. The husband leads with unconditional agapao love and the wife responds in love and the children will follow in love. They are not commanded to love. Wives and children respond to the leadership and love of the husband.

The divine institution of marriage is from God and is just as binding upon us today as it was in the past. Gen. 3:16.

“To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."” (Genesis 3:16, NASB)

The husband’s authority in marriage must be exercised in unconditional love inside the spiritual life. Personal love for God provides both motivation and correction of action in marriage. When there are problems in a marriage, the couple are to fall back on the epignosis Bible doctrine in their souls and an unconditional mental attitude agapao love so they can use God's grace resources in the spiritual life to work out the problems. God is perfect and wants you to have perfect happiness in marriage.

The authority of the husband in marriage must be exercised through leadership. This stability of leadership is motivated by his personal phileo love for God the Father. The husband can then develop unconditional love for all mankind. The husband’s unconditional agapao mental attitude love and his personal phileo love for his wife are both empowered by the filling of the Holy Spirit in the spiritual life where he applies the epignosis Bible doctrine in his soul to the situations and decisions in the marriage relationship.

The husband, if a believer, is commanded to have personal love for God the Father and unconditional agapao love for all mankind. The unbelieving husband finds his ability to fulfill the laws of divine establishment. See category on the Laws of Divine Establishment.

The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church. In Ephesians 5:1-2 are imperatives of maturity. The only way to have a successful marriage for the believer is through the power of God. Eph. 5:23.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” (Ephesians 5:23, NASB)

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” (Ephesians 5:1-2, NASB)

Our Lord Jesus Christ had unconditional mental attitude agapao love for all mankind. He applied the epignosis Bible doctrine in His soul under the enabling power of the Holy Spirit to handle the bearing of our sins on the Cross and being judged for them. Husbands are to solve problems and make good decisions in the marriage in the same way and with the very same enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Eph 5:25; 2 Cor. 5:14.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB)

“For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died;” (2 Corinthians 5:14, NASB)

Our Lord Jesus Christ going to the Cross and atoning for all of the sins of mankind was the single greatest demonstration of God’s unconditional agapao love for all mankind in all of human history.

When Christ gave Himself for the Church, it was unconditional love, not personal love. From our Lord’s unconditional love for all mankind comes His personal love for the Church. Our Lord’s unconditional love for all mankind was manifested in His substitutionary spiritual death on the Cross for all mankind - unlimited atonement. Our Lord’s personal love for the Church (all Church Age believers, the Body of Christ) is because of the imputation of absolute righteousness (+R) to every believer at salvation. The Church did not exist when Jesus Christ went to the Cross and died spiritually for all the sins of mankind. Nevertheless, His love toward the Church was demonstrated when all the sins of the Church were judged in His body on the Cross. 2 Cor. 5:19; Titus 2:11; 1 Tim. 2:6; 1 Tim. 4:10.

“namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:19, NASB)

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men,” (Titus 2:11, NASB)

“who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.” (1 Timothy 2:6, NASB)

“For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers.” (1 Timothy 4:10, NASB)

Marriage does not give the husband the right of being a bully. Marriage does not give the husband the right to demand his rights as the head of the house. Marriage does not give the wife the right to try to reform her husband and to try to mold him into what she thinks is the ideal husband. 1 Cor. 7:3.

“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3, NASB)

The husband is the head of the home. This connotes leadership in all areas of family life. The foundation for the family and for the home is the husband’s love. Without his mental attitude love, he can expect no love or respect from the wife. Eph. 5:28.

“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;” (Ephesians 5:28, NASB)

The woman was made for the man - to complete him. The woman is never complete without her husband. The woman only becomes complex when she has nothing to which to respond. 1 Cor. 11:7-9.

“For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.” (1 Corinthians 11:7-9, NASB)

When a man invests nothing in his marriage, he will receive nothing in return. The husband’s responsibility to the family does not end with being the bread winner, which is just a small part of the responsibility in compatibility in marriage.

Husbands fail when they seek to impose their personal standards and views on their wives. You cannot change others. You can only change yourself. The husband has no right to superimpose his personal standards on his wife, only the divine policies of the Word of God. Only Bible doctrine through the filling of the Holy Spirit has the power to change the standards that have come from our upbringing and background.

To become the spiritual leader in the marriage, the husband must fulfill the divine mandates of Ephesians 5:25 and Colossians 3:19.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB)

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.” (Colossians 3:19, NASB)

The only changes that count are the changes made from within your own soul through the influence of epignosis Bible doctrine. You cannot execute the spiritual life from the thinking of someone else.

Both the husband and wife must have unconditional agapao love for each other. The husband uses his unconditional love to fulfill the command to love his wife. The wife uses her unconditional love to fulfill the command to obey her husband.

Love Your Wife and Family

Husbands are mandated by God to have an unconditional agapao mental attitude love toward their wives. The husband has the responsibility of initiating and expressing agapao love and the wife responds to it. The wife can never be expected to respond properly in marriage until the husband understands and fulfills the injunction in Ephesians 5:25. Only then can the woman fulfill Ephesians 5:22.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB)

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22, NASB)

The husband's love (mental and physical) should be predominately aggressive and protective. Adjustment in marriage means spiritual adjustment. The Word of God must be the criterion. Living in the Word is the basis for a successful marriage. Prov. 23:7.

“For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, "Eat and drink!" But his heart is not with you.” (Proverbs 23:7, NASB)

The husband has the responsibility for unconditional agapao love toward his wife. From the husband’s unconditional love for all mankind comes his personal love for his wife. The husband’s personal love must be based on his unconditional love for the love to be stable in the marriage. This is the kind of love that is required of the husband as the leader and authority in marriage. The believer should already have a good amount of unconditional love for all mankind prior to marriage. The marriage success depends on it for stability.

In Ephesians 5:25-27, the husband is commanded to have agapao love for his wife. This is a mental attitude love that is free from mental attitude sins. It can only be done while filled with the Holy Spirit. Before the wife can have a true soul love or phileo love for her husband, the husband must first have mental attitude agapao love for her. The agapao love of the husband results in giving himself for his wife. He willingly works, without griping, feeling sorry for himself, grumbling, etc. The wife does not nag him.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless." (Ephesians 5:25-27, NASB)

As Christ gave Himself for the Church to sanctify it, cleanse it, so the husband is instrumental in in supporting the spiritual growth of his wife so she will grow into a glorious feminine person with poise and spiritual discernment.

In Ephesians 5:26, “sanctify” is ἁγιάζω (hagiazō) and means to free from the guilt of sin, expiation. “Cleansed” is the aorist participle of καθαρίζω (katharizō) and means to having cleansed. “Washing” is λουτρόν (loutron) and refers to washing of water by the Word of God. “The word” is ῥῆμα (rhēma) and has to do with the spoken Word. This is the communication. The more common Greek word for the Word of God is λόγος (logos) and in John 1:1.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1, NASB)

Christ builds the body of Church Age believers (the Church) to be brought to Himself following the Rapture of the Church and the Judgment Seat of Christ where all human good will be removed. He has several objectives. “No spot” is σπίλος (spilos) and means without moral fault such as dishonesty, immorality, etc. “Wrinkle” is ῥυτίς (rhutis) and means without wrinkle in the clothing, the glorious attire, that which would mar the appearance. “Holy” is ἅγιος (hagios) and means being holy, set apart from the guilt of sin, expiation. Blameless” is ἄμωμος (amōmos) and means without blemish, ethically, without fault, unblameable.

As this is the incentive or plan of Christ as the Head of the Church, so also the husband as the head of the wife should have objectives as to his wife. This was made possible by Christ through the Word.

"So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church," (Ephesians 5:28-29, NASB)

In Ephesians 5:29, the man is said to love the wife as his own body. This is done two ways: “nourishes” is ἐκτρέφω (ektrephō) and means to nourish to maturity, as a man cares for his body to maturity so he cares for the wife to spiritual maturity. “Cherishes” is Θάλπω (thalpō) and means to cherish with tender love.

In Jeremiah 31:22, “created” is בָּרָא (bara) and means to create, fashion, or make something out of nothing. This new thing had no prior existence. “New thing” is חדשׁ (châdâsh) and means a new thing, neuter is referred to by the feminine in the Hebrew. “Woman” is נקבה (neqêbâh) and means female. “Encompass” is סבב (sâbab) and means to encompass where the woman presses around her husband. “Man” is גּבר (geber) and means a strong, brave, valiant man. Emphasis on man as the defender and protector.

""How long will you go here and there, O faithless daughter? For the LORD has created a new thing in the earth— A woman will encompass a man."" (Jeremiah 31:22, NASB)

It is unconditional love that gives strength, honor, integrity, and capacity to personal love. Many relationships do not work out right because they have personal love with no unconditional love to stabilize it. Without unconditional love, the husband cannot fulfill God's mandate for him to love his wife. Also, the wife cannot fulfill God's mandate for her to obey her husband. Without the spiritual life and the filling of the Holy Spirit, neither partner in marriage can forgive each other. The husband is helpless to love his wife as Christ loved the Church without God’s enabling power. God has provided the means to fulfill His mandate by the development of unconditional love through spiritual growth.

The husband should express his mental attitude love in his conversation and his behavior as well as in sex with his wife. The husband should make time for his wife and family. The wife wants to feel wanted and protected and loved. Her security is in the love and respect of her husband, not in the money he earns or his social prestige. Hence, every woman needs and wants attention, she wants to feel as though she belongs. She should be protected and never maligned.

Without unconditional agapao love for all mankind, there would be no salvation. Without unconditional agapao love for all mankind, there would be no success in marriage or any human relationship that demands virtue.

No believer can have a successful marriage unless they have the right priorities in their life. Right priorities demand that God be given first place in your life by making the intake and application of Bible doctrine your number one priority.

No believer can have a successful marriage unless they first have a successful relationship with God. Spiritual growth produces a successful relationship with and personal phileo love for God. When the believer is filled with the Holy Spirit, it also motivates them to have unconditional mental attitude agapao love for others, including their spouse in marriage.

Some husbands want their wives to assume the role of a mother, to give care and attention and protection to them as a mother would. This type of husband has not grown up and thinks only of what he can get, not what he can give. A woman wants to look with respect toward her husband. She does not want to look at him as just another child to rear and handle. She needs to have a sense of security which comes from knowing that he makes decisions which are good, that he has good judgment. This develops respect. True love demands respect as one of its ingredients.

God has made the female mind and female body to respond and when she responds mentally or physically to the man, she is the glory of the man. She was created for the man. 1 Cor. 11:7; 1 Cor. 11:9.

“For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.” (1 Corinthians 11:7, NASB)

“for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.” (1 Corinthians 11:9, NASB)

A woman is a helper of the same species. A woman’s life is her husband’s. The woman completes the man. Gen. 2:23.

“The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."” (Genesis 2:23, NASB)

A wife can never love her husband when he will not forgive her as Christ forgave. This is the expression of unconditional love. How can a husband expect his wife to love him when he is jealous, bitter, vindictive, hateful, cruel, etc.?

Administer Family Duties With Love

The husband is responsible to protect and conduct the administration of his family. Eph. 5:23; 1 Peter 3:7; 1 Cor. 14:40; 1 Tim. 3:4-5; Eph. 5:25.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” (Ephesians 5:23, NASB)

“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7, NASB)

“But all things must be done properly and in an orderly manner.” (1 Corinthians 14:40, NASB)

“He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?),” (1 Timothy 3:4-5, NASB)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB)

Protect Your Wife’s Soul and Body

The husband is the guardian and custodian of the wife’s soul. He must never destroy the responder in her. To possess a woman’s body without possessing her soul is a fallacy. There must be mental attitude love first. The establishing of soul rapport is the responsibility of the husband and it starts with the mind.

As protector of his wife, he does not strike her bodily. He does not abuse her verbally. He respects her and shows her honor. He communicates with her and trusts her. 1 Peter 3:7; Prov. 31:11.

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” (Proverbs 31:11, NASB)

The spiritual solution for both husband and wife is for husbands to “live with your wives in an understanding way.” The husband must understand that his wife has self-consciousness and she will be occupied with the Lord and her husband. She should have no illusions about herself. As a believer out of fellowship she can feel very inferior or superior. The Holy Spirit can balance it out.

The wife will learn to have no illusions about her husband. She knows his weak points and his strong points and loves him just the same. The husband is to understand that his wife has mentality and she can think often more practically than he can. He understands that she can become bitter, jealous, and think human viewpoint just like he can.

He can have mental attitude love toward her, a relaxed mental attitude. She doesn’t try to outthink him, to change him, to make him over. In her mentality, she commits her husband to the Lord. Her mentality is not occupied with self-induced misery, moodiness, the silent treatment, or trying to hurt him. He and she understand and use 1 John 1:9 all the time.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NASB)

The wife has volition, so she makes decisions. The husband in fellowship will have unconditional mental attitude love toward her. She responds with rapport love and as such makes decisions which will please her husband. She dresses to please her husband. If she cooks, she cooks things he likes. Her mental attitude is not that she’s catering to the brute, she just likes to please him. 1 Peter 3:5-6.

“For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” (1 Peter 3:5-6, NASB)

He respects her desires to eat out, eat by candle light, try new dishes, have spending money for which she doesn’t have to give an account, etc. He understands that his wife has emotions. The wife needs to be appreciated, to be complimented, to be told of his love for her. She can stand back and take a good look at the bird she married and appreciate him. They can have great compatibility and contentment based on their love for each other. She develops a rapport, inner beauty, a relaxed blamelessness.

So the husband is the protector of his wife’s soul and body. He is the provider for his family. He understands his wife and realizes her value. He understands her self-consciousness, mentality, volition, emotion, and conscience. He is smart enough to know the Word has the answers and makes the consistent intake and application of Bible doctrine his top priority.

Provide For and Support the Family

The husband is responsible as the provider of his wife and family. Gen. 3:17-19; 1 Tim. 5:8.

“Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life. "Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field; By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return."” (Genesis 3:17-19, NASB)

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8, NASB)

However, the Bible does not teach that a wife cannot work to support the family. The examples are Ruth in the Old Testament and Lydia in the New Testament. Whether a wife works or not is a personal matter between the husband and his wife. They should decide without any outside interference. Both husband and wife may work in the market place. The more a husband and wife go outside the marriage in deciding things, the weaker the marriage becomes.

Set the Spiritual Pace of the Family

The husband is responsible to set the spiritual pace of the family because of his leadership authority. His motivation is from his personal love for God and from his unconditional mental attitude love for his family based on the epignosis Bible doctrine in his soul. Eph. 5:23-25.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:23-25, NASB)

The husband sets the spiritual pace of the family by teaching the Word to his family and by encouraging all to remain in fellowship by keeping short accounts regarding unconfessed sin. He is also responsible to ensure that all are consistently attending Bible class and church services where Bible doctrine is taught. Eph. 5:26-27.

“so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:26-27, NASB)

The husband sets the spiritual pace of the family by being unselfish and by cultivation of the marriage relationship in every way, as well as cultivation of the children. Eph. 5:28-29.

“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,” (Ephesians 5:28-29, NASB)

The husband sets the spiritual pace emphasizing the spiritual truth of oneness! And to all this the wife responds. Eph 5:31.

“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” (Ephesians 5:31, NASB)

Now what is the answer really? What makes the married couple operate on all systems? A growing knowledge of the Word of God and an increasing application of it to everything in life! 1 Peter 3:7.

This understanding has to be received systematically and categorically. That is why the local church exists to teach the Word and to illustrate how it can be applied to your life. A church is not a lonely hearts club. A church is not a place to come so you can have more contacts for your business. A church is not a place to go because of duty, because it makes you feel better, or because it’s the thing to do. A church is not a place to go to keep up a facade of respectability. A local church is for the dissemination of the Word of God and the adherence of it by those who hear it.

Understand Your Wife as the Responder

Husbands are commanded from the Word of God to live with their wives on the basis of gnosis knowledge about their wife and to understand them. The Greek word epignosis is not used in this verse as marriage is a divine institution and is meant for both believer and unbeliever. The wife should be understood by the husband whether he is a believer or unbeliever. 1 Peter 3:7.

The husband who does not live with his wife on the basis of knowing and understanding her is inevitably going to be abusive, full of arrogance, and throw his weight around. When the believer husband does this, he will receive God's divine discipline until he confesses his known sins to God the Father and thus be again filled with the Holy Spirit. His only path to correct his abusive or arrogant behavior is to get with the consistent intake and application of Bible doctrine and to grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Because the wife is a responder, she will either respond to her husband and his leadership authority or react to him. When she reacts to his authority as a responder, she becomes weaker. The husband is to understand that his wife has a conscience as does he. She is sensitive and is hurt when chewed out. Some husbands run roughshod over their wives and then expect some good response. He needs to understand that a wife can have a guilt complex as can the husband.

The man needs to understand the woman’s spiritual make-up, her mental make-up, and the physical make-up of her body. Part of a husband’s obligation and his responsibility as a believer is to please his wife and to make his marriage a success. The husband must so love his wife, as Christ loved the Church. The basis is grace. Giving is of the utmost importance in sex, living, conversation, protection, fellowship, understanding, and every other facet of life.

To begin to understand his wife, the husband must learn from the Word of God that she is a responder. Ephesians 5:33 mandates that the wife is to respect her husband. Respect is defined as a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation, an act of giving particular attention or consideration, an expression of high or special regard or deference, the quality or state of being esteemed. For the woman, true love must start in her soul, not in her body. True love must originate from virtue in the soul. The key to a woman’s love for her husband is her respect for him.

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33, NASB)

The woman’s soul is especially sensitive because the woman is a responder. When a wife is reacting to her husband, she cannot stop reacting against her husband unless she returns to fellowship and the filling of the Holy Spirit. Her reaction is stopped by responding to the Lord. This is why she is commanded to obey her husband as unto the Lord. If the husband reacts to his wife’s reaction, all it does is escalate the problem. Escalating the problem puts both the husband and wife out of fellowship and puts their souls under emotional control of their sin natures.

The wife’s emotional reaction makes her irrational. The husband reacting to his wife emotionally makes him irrational. Things may be said in this state that one cannot take back. Instead of reacting to her husband who is out of fellowship, the wife should respond to the Lord and handle her husband with unconditional love and application of epignosis Bible doctrine.

Provide an Environment for Freedom

The husband and wife are given divine mandates. When God gives you mandates, it means you have freedom to execute that mandate. The source of your freedom is volition. When a husband is a tyrant toward his wife, he has taken her freedom from her. The marriage only works when both have the freedom to express their love for each other.

No wife can love her husband without freedom to express her love toward him or not. A woman must have freedom to respond to her husband’s love for without freedom she will not have desire. A woman’s desire toward her husband must be correlated with her volition. A man who eliminates a woman’s volition destroys the whole mental attitude picture.

The husband’s wife can only respond to him in freedom. If the husband has no values, he is not capable of love. The highest form of love is found in the woman as a responder. Why? Because capacity for love expands where one is under authority. It takes a greater capacity for love to respect a man and be under his authority. Respect has to be the mandate for the Christian wife, because she is under the authority of her husband. This freedom produces true of friendship, romance, and marriage.

The woman has a soul and volition, therefore the freedom to choose. No husband can force his wife to love him. Ever. Under these conditions, the wife will react unless she has grown spiritually and is able to handle this tough situation with unconditional mental attitude love while filled with the Holy Spirit. Her love must originate from her own volition in her soul. Therefore, what a woman does not freely give from the volition of her soul is not worth having. A woman must have freedom in her soul to love a man.

The wife loves her husband from her soul just as the husband loves her from his soul. The wife is a responder, but when she is out of fellowship and her husband is behaving badly, she reacts. When she is reacting, the husband is in trouble. She loses her great ability to respond through respect, the highest form of love.

God did not start the human race with romance or friendship, but with marriage. God designed sex to be within marriage from the beginning of mankind. There need be no embarrassment in discussing sexual matters in the marriage. Gen. 2:24-25.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:24-25, NASB)

The body of the husband and wife are joined in marriage. Their souls can only be joined where the husband loves his wife, his wife responds with respect for him, and they both forgive each other. Sex in marriage should be an expression of personal love between husband and wife based on the Bible doctrine in their souls. Sex in marriage is primarily recreation and secondarily procreation. The purpose for sex in the first marriage before the Fall of Adam and the woman was only for recreation.

Adam and Eve were married for some time before they had children. Gen. 3:16. They were born sinless and perfect, then lost their fellowship with God due to sin in the Fall, and then were saved by accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior. Later in Genesis 4:1, they had children.

“Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain, and she said, "I have gotten a manchild with the help of the LORD."” (Genesis 4:1, NASB)

Honor Your Wife

It is the responsibility of the husband to honor his wife, not take advantage of her. The wife is commanded to respect her husband. 1 Peter 3:7.

The wife is a fellow heir of God's grace and means that there must always be authority orientation, but there is also the need for equality to execute the plan of God for her life. When the husband is unfair or unjust, then her response should be unconditional love for her husband motivated by her personal love for God the Father and occupation with Christ.

Arrogance is the most destructive factor in any human relationship. The wife has her problems in listening and the husband has his problems in leading. God opposes the arrogant believer, but gives grace to the humble believer. James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5.

“But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."” (James 4:6, NASB)

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” (1 Peter 5:5, NASB)

The arrogant spouse is always right in their own mind and justifies what they do. They become insensitive to the other spouse. The arrogant spouse demands unconditional love from their partner in marriage, but this unconditional love can only be found in the spiritual life from the filling of the Holy Spirit and the application of Bible doctrine resident in the right lobe of the soul.