Austin Bible Church
Falling in love is not always rational. People often marry when judgment is null and void. It’s important, therefore, to absorb principles of application of Bible doctrine before you become emotionally involved.
If you are a believer, do not marry an unbeliever. If you become a believer while married to an unbeliever, this is not a biblical basis for a divorce. You have the opportunity to evangelize your spouse and demonstrate the spiritual life by what you say and by your actions. 1 Cor. 9:5; 2 Cor. 6:14-15.
“Do we not have a right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?” (1 Corinthians 9:5, NASB)
“Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, NASB)
If you are positive to Bible doctrine, do not marry a person who is negative to doctrine or your biblical convictions. Spiritual compatibility is the only hope for resolving many of the problems in marriage.
Do not marry on a wave of libido to fulfill sexual desires during the attraction stage as you have not spent enough time with your opposite number to get to know what is in their soul. This is especially problematic for teenage marriages. Sex is not love. Sex is only one of the many manifestations of love. Love is a mental attitude of unconditional agapao love plus a soul or rapport phileo love. When you magnify sex out of its proper perspective, you ignore spiritual compatibility and the priority of Bible doctrine and economic compatibility. See category on Libido.
Don’t marry until you both can agree on how money will be handled. Don’t marry until you have moved from the attraction phase into the compatibility phase of your relationship. You should have recreational and mental compatibility before marriage.
Do not marry because of social pressure. Take your time and avoid making a very big mistake that will have long-term consequences. Don’t marry because you want children. Children do not improve a marriage, nor do they ever save a marriage.
Don’t marry someone for their outward beauty or attractiveness alone. Outward beauty provides very little indication of the real character and soul content of a person. Outward beauty or attractiveness can hide flaws and defects of character. These need to be recognized before marriage.
Don’t marry to solve problems. Marriage is never the solution to the problems of life. Marriage actually creates more problems that when single. Problems must be solved prior to marriage. If you cannot solve your problems while alone, you cannot solve them in marriage. The only way to solve problems is with divine solutions through learning and applying Bible doctrine.
Don’t marry to escape from an unhappy home life, abusive parents, or an unhappy set of circumstances. Don’t marry someone just because they have money to improve your economic situation or for financial security. Also, you should not go into debt to get married.
Do not believe that two people can live as cheaply as one person. Don’t marry a status symbol or someone famous as they usually carry a lot of “baggage” that you will become involved with.
Do not marry a divorced person except under bona fide biblical conditions. Those conditions are; their former spouse has died, or they divorced their spouse prior to accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior, or their former spouse has remarried, or they are the innocent party of a divorce due to adultery, or their divorce involved the desertion by their former spouse.
Don’t marry when you are too young. Teenage marriages have a very bad track record. Take the time to learn about each other’s character, beliefs, and what is in their souls. Do not marry because you think you will never have another chance. Do not marry because of pregnancy.
Women should not get married until they understand the principle that in marriage they lose some of their freedom. They must realize that they are surrendering both their soul and their body to one man, both as long as they both shall life. The husband must be willing to assume leadership authority and associated responsibilities and should be careful to treat his wife with love with the proper mental attitude.
Women should not marry any man unless they can submit to his spiritual authority, his mental authority, his physical authority. The mental and spiritual are far more important than the physical. Do not marry with the attitude that if things don’t “work out” that that you can get out of it easily. Marriage is a Divine Institution.
Do not marry a person because they are sympathetic to you when you are in a period of high stress. This is the “any port in a storm” scenario. Do not marry someone addicted to gambling, drugs, or alcohol. Don’t marry a person you find to be continually jealous or one who has an overly inflated sense of themselves.