Austin Bible Church
Premarital sex and post-marital sex are both considered fornication and are defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons. Adultery is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with someone other than their spouse.
There is a definite biblical prohibition of sexual relations before marriage and scar tissue on the soul is the reason. This is contrary to most everything we are taught today. Parents should teach sex education, not the schools. When parents surrender this responsibility to the schools, they are out of line.
God is not trying to deprive you of fun when He mandates no sex before marriage. He is protecting you and protecting the right one you will marry. He is protecting you so you will have a life of fulfillment in marriage. Don’t tamper with sex until the right time. Then, in marriage, you will have inner happiness with whom God has given you. Heb. 13:5.
“ Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,”“ (Hebrews 13:5, NASB)
Fornication is a woman using her physical responses by destroying her soul responses, therefore, destroying herself. She becomes incapable of true love. In Galatians 5:19, “sensuality” refers to the lust for sexual stimulation of the body.
“Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,” (Galatians 5:19, NASB)
The Word of God is very clear in God's prohibition of premarital sex and post-marital sex (fornication). 1 Cor. 6:13; Acts 15:20; Acts 15:29; Acts 21:25; 1 Cor. 5:1; 1 Cor. 7:2.
“Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13, NASB)
“but that we write to them that they abstain from things contaminated by idols and from fornication and from what is strangled and from blood.” (Acts 15:20, NASB)
“that you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well. Farewell."” (Acts 15:29, NASB)
“It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father's wife.” (1 Corinthians 5:1, NASB)
“But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:2, NASB)
In romance, there is always the risk of violating the biblical warnings against premarital sex. Sexual intimacy in the attraction stage of romance and courtship destroys a relationship because God's design for a man and woman to reach the compatibility phase of their relationship and marriage before engaging in sex. The compatibility phase involves exploring how a person thinks, discovering what they really are, seeing their dark side under stress, seeing their good side under the right conditions, and confirming their flaws.
Couples who choose premarital sex have given up the norms and standards of Bible doctrine by which compatibility can be attained with the opposite sex in favor of emotional revolt of the soul. Premarital sex and emotional revolt of the soul destroy the foundation for both romance and a successful marriage.
To have a successful marriage, the believer is mandated to avoid those who are involved in fornication whether believer or unbeliever. Fornication also brings divine discipline for the believer. 1 Thess. 4:3-4; 1 Cor. 5:11; Heb. 13:4.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, NASB)
“But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.” (1 Corinthians 5:11, NASB)
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4, NASB)
The man involved in premarital sex cannot perform adequately and the woman involved in premarital sex is always thinking of someone else who did it better. Premarital sex is usually all about self-gratification. Both men and women enter into premarital sex simply to satisfy their own sexual urges. There is no genuine love or sense of responsibility for their sex partner in fornication. This is especially true of men. For these men, the woman is simply his object of self-gratification. This may be true also for the promiscuous female seeking a man to fulfill her sexual desires. This leads to nothing but frustration for both the man and the woman.
Marriage is more than just finding the right one for you. Marriage is about being the right kind of person. Premarital sex eliminates being the right kind of person, so that finding the right one for you is filled with regrets.
Premarital sex can result in an erotic self-gratification that seeks sexual sensation above a true love relationship. Premarital sex is sin against your own body. The physiological factor in sexual arousal involves biological rapport as well as mental, soulish, and spiritual rapport. Premarital sex destroys the level of biological rapport possible between the husband and wife in marriage. This means that premarital sex decreases the source of sexual energy in marriage and may lead to the feeling that sex has become dull. 1 Cor. 6:18.
“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18, NASB)
The more premarital sex partners one has, the more difficult it is to adjust to one person in marriage. Each premarital sexual relationship tends to be conditioned to the response pattern of the one you are with and becomes a composite from many. The pattern of effective sexual relationship in marriage may have been damaged. The recovery process for this situation is from the grace of God whereby the believer recovers from the destructive effects of premarital sex by confessing known sins to God the Father and return to the intake of Bible doctrine. Spiritual growth is the only way to correct or renew your thinking in life.
Recovery From Premarital Sex
The recovery process from premarital sex for the unbeliever, is salvation by faith alone in Jesus Christ alone. This removes all scar tissue in the soul. Then after salvation, the new believer should find a local church that teaches Bible doctrine and get the Word daily and grow spiritually.
The recovery process from premarital sex for the believer starts with the Word of God, a local church that is true to the Word of God, and a pastor-teacher that categorically opens up the Word. Confess or cite in prayer your known sins to God the Father using 1 John 1:9.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NASB)
Sin does not make you lose your salvation, it has temporarily removed your fellowship with the Lord. In naming the sins, your fellowship is always restored because God is always faithful. Tell the Lord you want your deficiency of soul filled up with His wisdom. James 1:5.
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5, NASB)
Go on a crash program of Bible doctrine basics. Let go of your social life. It’s what got you into trouble anyway. Turn to the Word of God. The more of the Word you get into your soul, the more you can handle your social life. See category on Basic Bible Doctrines.
The application of the epignosis Bible doctrine from the right lobe of the soul with its frame of reference removes scar tissue. Although getting into fellowship via 1 John 1:9 does not remove scar tissue, it keeps more scar tissue from forming.