Austin Bible Church
The Song of Solomon talks about the right kind of love. There is no place for being a prude, or snickering, or thinking this is not applicable to me. Any believer, from teenagers on up, should understand sex and love from the biblical viewpoint.
Some people have already blown it and have not waited to get married until they have sufficient Bible doctrine in their souls to make the right choices for the right reasons based on principles found in the Word of God. There is only one way out. If you are an unbeliever, you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. If you are a believer, you need to concentrate on the consistent intake and application of Bible doctrine. This is the only way to remove the soul scar tissue. John 1:12.
“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name,” (John 1:12, NASB)
The Song of Solomon is one of five books of the Bible written in poetry in the original language. The five books with their associated themes are Job: Believer with his face in the dust, Psalms: Believer on his knees, Proverbs: Believer on his feet and walking with the Lord, Ecclesiastes: Believer on his back, out of fellowship, and Song of Solomon: Believer using his mind and conscience.
The Song of Solomon is a drama with five acts and is the account of Solomon failing to win the most beautiful woman in the land and the account of principles of courtship which are not available elsewhere.
It is impossible to tell in each verse who is speaking. For example in Song of Solomon 1:2, The Shulammite Woman says, “May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” and then in the same verse, the last part, the Daughters of Jerusalem chime in “for your love is better than wine.” Instead we will study this in principle fashion, developing many principles on proper biblical courtship.
““May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.” (Song of Solomon 1:2, NASB)
In this drama, Solomon is the king and the villain. He represents temptation from the world, the flesh, and Satan. Solomon is the villain and being disciplined by God because he remains out of fellowship and thus, out of the will of God. He had 1,000 women, but wasn’t satisfied. He wanted more. This is the story of how Solomon could not gain the love of the Shulammite Woman no matter how hard he tried.
The Shulammite Woman is the heroine. As a very beautiful woman she is tested, but she remains true to the man she loves, the Shepherd Lover. She remains occupied with her Shepherd Lover and is delivered from the temptation of Solomon.
The Shepherd Lover is in love with the Shulammite Woman and she is in love with him. He is absent for most of the drama. These are all historical people, they really lived. The Daughters of Jerusalem are the virgins of Solomon’s harem. They sewed, cooked, and took care of domestic duties around Solomon’s palace.
The queens were Solomon’s wives, the upper class – about 700. The concubines were the inferior wives – about 300. The jealous queen was quite the dancer at the end of the book.
Principles of Biblical Courtship - Exposition of Song of Solomon
Act 1 - Song of Solomon 1:1 - 3:5
The Shulammite Woman was working in the vineyards because her brothers did not approve of her romance with her Shepherd Lover. They were trying to break up the relationship. She was sent up north. On a visit to the northern part of the country, Solomon spotted her working in a vineyard.
He decides to make her one of his harem. He sends the virgins (Daughters of Jerusalem) to investigate the young lady. They make a favorable report and she voluntarily becomes another member of the king’s harem. Once in the harem, she finds herself in a very difficult situation. She thought she would be a Daughter of Jerusalem and wait tables and so on, but Solomon had other ideas. He wants to make her a queen.
She had accepted a place with the harem to actually get away from the vineyard, her brothers, and get back eventually to her Shepherd Lover. Now, she is trapped. The book opens with the Shulammite Woman telling the Daughters of Jerusalem that she is engaged to her Shepherd Lover and would never consider Solomon’s proposal.
Principle 1: Every man is designed differently, but God has designed the right kind of woman for you. From the woman’s point of view, a man must see certain things in you according to Song of Solomon 1:5. He must see the beauty of your soul free from mental attitude sins and emotional revolt. He must see your character. He must see the beauty of your body. The Bible prohibits sex and nakedness before marriage. After being married, he will eventually see the symmetry of your body as no other man will and he will be very happy with it. Prov. 6:32.
““I am black but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon.” (Song of Solomon 1:5, NASB)
“The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it.” (Proverbs 6:32, NASB)
As a woman, you should accept yourself as you are. If you are not as good looking as you may want to be or you think you are overweight, this is often protection given you by God so you will choose the right husband.
So many of the outwardly attractive types get their lives so messed up because of the attention they receive. This is not often the right type of attention. The solution? Just take in Bible doctrine, grow spiritually and stabilize your thinking. For the males of the species, you may have defects or you may not be the big man on campus type. Forget it. The solution is exactly the same as for the ladies. Just take in Bible doctrine, grow spiritually and stabilize your thinking.
Principle 2: The woman for you will be concerned about her personal appearance. This is normal very feminine behavior. Working in the vineyard, the Shulammite Woman had not been able to keep up her personal appearance. Song of Solomon 1:6.
““Do not stare at me because I am swarthy, For the sun has burned me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; They made me caretaker of the vineyards, But I have not taken care of my own vineyard.” (Song of Solomon 1:6, NASB)
There are significant pressures in today’s society to confirm to the current fads and “modern” trends. These trends and fads almost never follow the Divine Institutions of volition, marriage, family, and government/nationalism. Usually, they are in direct opposition. These trends have destroyed the thinking and conscience of many resulting behavior that is contrary to the Word of God.
Principle 3: The stable relationship between a man and a woman is a soul relationship. Her soul responds to the man. Love and the capacity for love are located in the soul. Song of Solomon 1:7.
““Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, Where do you pasture your flock, Where do you make it lie down at noon? For why should I be like one who veils herself Beside the flocks of your companions?”“ (Song of Solomon 1:7, NASB)
The soul has self-consciousness. She is aware of her lover. The mentality of the soul has a left lobe that contains information learned. She knows certain facts about him. The soul has a right lobe or the heart that contains only epignosis Bible doctrine. Her doctrinal frame of reference and memory center recall many things about him. There is a fragrance of memories. Her conscience has the proper doctrinal norms and standards towards her man. She has a doctrinal soul rapport with the Shepherd Lover. She also knows definitely that she is not in love with Solomon. Her tremendous love is focused only on her Shepherd Lover.
The soul also has volition. She wanted to please her man and made decisions to do so. The soul has emotion. The emotions are to be the responder of the doctrinal thinking in right lobe of her soul. She appreciates him for what is in his soul as well as his appearance, character, and virtue.
Principle 4: If a man has a sense of responsibility in his work, he will also have a sense of responsibility for the woman he loves. He will be a conscientious business man and be able to hold down a job and stay put. An unstable man will job hop and will often not have the initiative to go out and find work. He will have a lot of idle time on his hands. Song of Solomon 1:7.
““Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, Where do you pasture your flock, Where do you make it lie down at noon? For why should I be like one who veils herself Beside the flocks of your companions?”“ (Song of Solomon 1:7, NASB)
Her Shepherd Lover had such a sense of responsibility that he couldn’t come at this time to see if he can get her released. The flock is in the south country and she is in the north country.
Principle 5: The woman must never be pushy and conduct the big search. Some of you aren’t dating as much as you would like and you’re worried about it. Put it in the Lord’s hands and while you are waiting around, get Bible doctrine. Song of Solomon 1:8.
""If you yourself do not know, Most beautiful among women, Go forth on the trail of the flock And pasture your young goats By the tents of the shepherds." (Song of Solomon 1:8, NASB)
The point of doctrine as taken from Song of Solomon 1:8 indicates in essence, “Say, if he is all that great, why don’t you get a small flock and sort of camp beside him there!” This is feminine advice and is human viewpoint. They were saying, “Why don’t you get a couple of goats and get close in there and act helpless so he will help you as you continually roll your eyes and bat your eyelashes.”
It is true that many of you go through a boy or girl crazy stage. But you don’t have to heap up a lot of experience to find the right kind of man or the right kind of woman. All you actually get is a pile of scar tissue in your soul. You should wait on the Lord’s timing for your husband to be or wife to be to show up. Use faith-rest to find the right kind of man or the right kind of woman without the big search! When you find someone of interest, find out what they have in their soul first! Job found out what was in his wife’s soul while he underwent severe testing in Job 2:9-10.
"But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:10, NASB)
"Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!" But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:9-10, NASB)
There is something far worse than being lonely and single. It is marrying a believer who is in reversionism. Even with a bad decision, remember that God's grace is sufficient for every believer who is positive to Bible doctrine. Bible doctrine in the soul enables you to handle the adverse situation and be a good spiritual example for your reversionistic spouse.
Women should not conduct the big search for their right kind of man. In Genesis 2:22, God brought the woman to Adam. The Lord gives the guidance. Men should not conduct the big search either. 1 Cor. 7:27.
"The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man." (Genesis 2:22, NASB)
"Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife." (1 Corinthians 7:27, NASB)
Principle 6: If you get the teaching of God’s Word, God will protect women for the right kind of man for them and God will protect the man for the right woman for them. The Shulammite Woman was protected from Solomon.
The Christian courtship is intended to evaluate your date as to whether they have the Bible doctrine in their soul and whether they have the resulting qualities of their character. Remember that when you date in your teen years, you are probably not dating the one you will marry. Therefore, it is up to the man to protect the body and soul of the girl as well as to protect themselves! If you get involved in premarital sex, you’ve blown it. There is a recovery process from the guilt complex and frustration, but that is only a crash program, a daily diet of the Word of God.
Principle 7: There is a test for whether you have found the one that God intended for you or not. If you are serious about someone and still entertain thoughts about dating some other person, you either do not have the right person in mind or you are too young to settle down. If you have indeed discovered the right one for you, they will be so fantastic that every other person will be repulsive with regard to dating material.
In Song of Solomon 1:9-10, Solomon is using his royal pitch to woo the Shulammite Woman.
""To me, my darling, you are like My mare among the chariots of Pharaoh. "Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with strings of beads."" (Song of Solomon 1:9-10, NASB)
Principle 8: When the right kind of man indicates you are magnificent, you will love him for it. If the wrong kind of man says the same thing, it will make you sick. This is one of the highest compliments you could ever receive from the right kind of man. Song of Solomon 1:9-10
Principle 9: Solomon, out of fellowship, is wooing the wrong woman for him and emphasized the beauty of the Shulammite Woman. He did this regarding the woman’s body to the exclusion of her soul. Soul beauty and protection of the body are sufficient satisfiers in premarital courtship. Song of Solomon 1:9-10.
Principle 10: The Shulammite Woman was protected from Solomon by her fragrance of memories. While Solomon was in emotional revolt and giving his pitch, she was remembering her Shepherd Lover. Song of Solomon 1:12-14.
""While the king was at his table, My perfume gave forth its fragrance. "My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts. "My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms In the vineyards of Engedi."" (Song of Solomon 1:12-14, NASB)
Principle 11: All things granted, the right kind of man or woman for you will have a disposition compatible with yours. When the Shulammite Woman thinks of her lover, she regards him as “pleasant.” Song of Solomon 1:16.
""How handsome you are, my beloved, And so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant!" (Song of Solomon 1:16, NASB)
Principle 12: Sexual relationships before marriage are prohibited. In Song of Solomon 1:16, “our couch is luxuriant” is an idiom for a marriage not being consummated before the proper time. Sex should be after the ceremony and in privacy. Other verses backing up this principle include Proverbs 6:32, 1 Corinthians 7:1, and Hebrews 13:4.
"The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it." (Proverbs 6:32, NASB)
"Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman." (1 Corinthians 7:1, NASB)
"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." (Hebrews 13:4, NASB)
Principle 13: The Shulammite Woman has no illusions about herself. She is grace oriented. She is not going to waste her beauty on the wrong man, Solomon. She thus has an edification structure in her soul. Taken from Song of Solomon 2:1, “I am the rose” refers to the rose or crocus which is a common flower like a dandelion. She is saying to Solomon (the wrong man) don’t pay any attention to me.
""I am the rose of Sharon, The lily of the valleys."" (Song of Solomon 2:1, NASB)
Solomon breaks in and disagrees with her and compares her to lilies. A lily has great symmetry and is very beautiful. Song of Solomon 2:2
""Like a lily among the thorns, So is my darling among the maidens."" (Song of Solomon 2:2, NASB)
Principle 14: Watch out for the guys with the pitch and the pinch. They have a pit in their head for brains. They may give you a modern version of “prove your love to me” or “we were meant for each other.” Some girls get on dates and talk about their hope chest, what kind of furniture they like, how many kids they want (usually too many) and what kind of dog they prefer.
In Song of Solomon 2:3, the Shulammite Woman gets nauseated at this point and says, “My beloved (Shepherd Lover) is the most beautiful and stimulating man among humanity.” She uses the apple tree as an analogy here. The apple tree was the most highly prized tree at that time.
""Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, So is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste." (Song of Solomon 2:3, NASB)
Principle 15: The man enjoys the company of the right kind of woman to the exclusion of all others. The same is true for the woman seeking her right kind of man. This is soul compatibility, not body compatibility. People who fight during courtship, abuse and pound on each other, that doubt their love up to the last minute and whether they should marry, really have very little chance for a happy marriage. Song of Solomon 2:3.
If you need alcohol to take the boredom out of a date, you are a first-class jackass. That goes for drugs as well. The drinker and one who need a drug high destroys forever any chance for real happiness. The grace of God reclaims a few, but when reclaimed they are only a small percentage of what they could have been!
Principle 16: The man is to protect the woman he is dating from others. In Song of Solomon 2:4, she describes a date in a banqueting house with a large number of people present. The Shepard Lover’s protection is based his love for her.
""He has brought me to his banquet hall, And his banner over me is love." (Song of Solomon 2:4, NASB)
Ephesians 5:23 tells us that Christ protects the Church and in turn, the husband is the savior (protector) of the body of his wife.
"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body." (Ephesians 5:23, NASB)
Principle 17: For the persistent attentions from the wrong kind of man, the woman will need to use firm language in unconditional love to put him in his place. Song of Solomon 2:5. “Sustain me with raisin cakes” means to revive a fainting person. “Refresh me with apples” refers to apples that were cut open for smelling salts in the ancient world.
They would take an apple fresh off the tree and stick it under someone’s nose to revive them. She says, “I’m sick of this character (Solomon) and I need the smelling salts. “I am lovesick” is literally, I am sick for my love. She is mentally occupied with her right man and she misses him.
""Sustain me with raisin cakes, Refresh me with apples, Because I am lovesick." (Song of Solomon 2:5, NASB)
Principle 18: Some of you have a lascivious trend, so you go for the body. Others of you have an ascetic trend, so you go for the soul. There must be a balance between both! Song of Solomon 2:6 describes the Shepherd Lover’s physical attractiveness, whereas Song of Solomon 1:3-4 describe his character.
""Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me."" (Song of Solomon 2:6, NASB)
“"Your oils have a pleasing fragrance, Your name is like purified oil; Therefore the maidens love you. "Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into his chambers." "We will rejoice in you and be glad; We will extol your love more than wine. Rightly do they love you."” (Song of Solomon 1:3-4, NASB)
Remember they are engaged and of course there will be physical attraction including embracing. However, arousal of the male means it has gone too far. The knucklehead who lets physical attraction become arousal resulting in premarital sex damages their soul needed for recognizing the right one for them when they show up.
Some focus on inner beauty to the exclusion of physical beauty. Others focus on physical beauty to the exclusion of inner beauty. There will be a physical attraction that becomes a soul attraction in dating. Don’t violate each other’s bodies until marriage! God is absolutely dogmatic here and the price you pay for premarital sex is very high! You can’t marry someone just because of the physical attraction, nor can you marry someone just for the soul attraction. Both must be involved!
Principle 19: Love must come from uncoerced free will. You cannot force it. Forced “love” is never love. A woman must love her man from her free will. She must have privacy and she must have the freedom to love him!
You cannot coerce love. You cannot buy love. Prostitution is never the answer. You cannot force true love. You cannot demand love. Auto-erotism (masturbation) is never the answer either! Therefore, you must never do anything to stifle the volition of the woman. Song of Solomon 2:7 is the response of volition!
""I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, That you do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases."" (Song of Solomon 2:7, NASB)
Principle 20: Your right man will be masculine, not effeminate and mousy. The very fact that you are the woman for him sparks him and makes him aggressive. Song of Solomon 2:8-9.
""Listen! My beloved! Behold, he is coming, Climbing on the mountains, Leaping on the hills! "My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he is standing behind our wall, He is looking through the windows, He is peering through the lattice." (Song of Solomon 2:8-9, NASB)
He is very athletic and very much alive. He’s not a deadhead or rocking his chair through life. He is very strong and very coordinated. He’s not an awkward bumpkin. He is mature and full of energy! She recalls a scene when he came to visit her. She watched him coming toward her and her heartbeat quickened. In Song of Solomon 2:9, he comes to her house even though the brothers of the Shulammite Woman did not care for him. And it just happened to be springtime.
Principle 21: He asked her for the date. The man is the aggressor and the woman is the responder. This is not a Sadie Hawkins deal. This rules out the girls bugging guys by always calling them on the phone and chatting or or texting, wasting all kinds of time. Song of Solomon 2:10.
""My beloved responded and said to me, 'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along." (Song of Solomon 2:10, NASB)
Principle 22: The man desires to be together with his woman and the woman feels the same way. They want to share thoughts, to have conversation, and to enjoy the scenery in each other’s company. The great enemy of true love is infatuation, being in love with love. From Song of Solomon 2:10-13, she quotes him in her thoughts and her mental occupation with her man is legitimate and proper.
“"My beloved responded and said to me, 'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along. 'For behold, the winter is past, The rain is over and gone. 'The flowers have already appeared in the land; The time has arrived for pruning the vines, And the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land. 'The fig tree has ripened its figs, And the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance. Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along!'"” (Song of Solomon 2:10-13, NASB)
Principle 23: When the right one for you is absent, you will greatly miss them. Confirm that the feeling is truly mutual. In Song of Solomon 2:14, she wants to see him, to see his face, to hear his voice, to sense his handsome appearance. She thinks back to that last date and how the brothers stopped it.
""O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, In the secret place of the steep pathway, Let me see your form, Let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, And your form is lovely."" (Song of Solomon 2:14, NASB)
Principle 24: When the courtship is taking place, various people (relatives, friends) may be opposed to it, or the wrong man or wrong woman may try hard to break it up! Song of Solomon 2:15.
“"Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, While our vineyards are in blossom."” (Song of Solomon 2:15, NASB)
However, parents have jurisdiction over their sons and daughters and their good sense must be followed, even if they lower the boom on you. It could be the right kind of person, but you are too young to control the physical part of the relationship. In too many cases, it is the wrong kind of person and if the parents don’t bust it up, all you will have is heartache and a multiplied misery spectrum.
This verse describes the brother’s talk. They caught her (not in sin) on a date with her right man, so took her north to the vineyards. She was either to trap or destroy the foxes so they couldn’t destroy the new crop of grapes.
Principle 25: Separation in courtship is often a good test of the man and the woman. If she is right kind of woman for him or the man is the right kind for her, absence makes the heart grow fonder. If the wrong kind of woman for him or the wrong kind of man for her, the absence will make the heart wonder. So she is separated from her Shepherd Lover. Song of Solomon 2:16-17.
“"My beloved is mine, and I am his; He pastures his flock among the lilies. "Until the cool of the day when the shadows flee away, Turn, my beloved, and be like a gazelle Or a young stag on the mountains of Bether."” (Song of Solomon 2:16-17, NASB)
Principle 26: This is a description of right kind of man for her and the right kind of woman for him. She loves him totally. This is found in Song of Solomon 2:16 from the idiom, “He pastures his flock among the lilies.”
Principle 27: She is dependent on him to work out the rescue plans, but is confident he will come through. The man and women with the spiritual discernment to recognize the Bible doctrine in each other’s souls will reach a soul rapport that is unique. They will have perfect trust and perfect confidence in each other although separated by many miles. Song of Solomon 2:17.
When she says, “turn” she is saying, “rescue me.” “You were aggressive and asked me for a date (one was in a public banqueting place) and you asked me for another date (when we were alone) and I fell in love with you. Be aggressive now and rescue me!”
Remember, the Lord Jesus Christ was aggressive in going to the Cross. He initiated His love for all of us. He is the only Savior. John 3:16; John 1:12.
“"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16, NASB)
“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name,” (John 1:12, NASB)
Principle 28: Once a woman meets the right type of man for her, she is protected by his love whether he is present or not. She will not fall for anyone who comes along with a fast line. This is based on her fragrance of memories. Song of Solomon 2:17.
Principle 29: Finding the right kind of man or the right kind of woman is a matter of faith. You trust that God will provide this right kind of doctrinal person for you and you don’t have to worry about meeting them, or missing meeting them. You are to use faith-rest and take in doctrine daily using the grace apparatus for perception to grow spiritually. The more you grow in the spiritual life, the more you are protected from the many destructive elements of life.
Principle 30: The Shulammite Woman was not conducting the big search for the right man for her. Why? She already knew who he was. She was seeking fellowship with him. She missed him. The Shulammite Woman recalled an incident while she was trying to go to sleep or was asleep. He was her life. She was thinking or dreaming about him. This is soul compatibility. Song of Solomon 3:l.
“"On my bed night after night I sought him Whom my soul loves; I sought him but did not find him.” (Song of Solomon 3:1, NASB)
Principle 31: When the right one comes along, it is more than being “turned on” as we say today. It is more than a wave of libido (sexual desire). There is soul rapport of the type only possible with the right one. Song of Solomon 3:1.
What is a wave of libido? It is a biological urge to have sex. It results in a girl being boy crazy, and a boy desiring the girls. There is really no such thing as true love among teenagers. You may be physically developed and on a wave of libido, but that is not true love.
Going steady is a manifestation of libido and going steady in the teenage years is not a good idea. It is often a prelude to communal living and results in scar tissue in the soul and emotional revolt. During the teenage years, get Bible doctrine. There is a right time to marry the right person and a wrong time to marry the right person. A marriage can be messed up by wrong timing.
Principle 32: Marriage is more than legalized sex. Song of Solomon 3:2. Sex is an expression of love. Physical attraction is not love. The soul is the expression of eros love, “Whom my soul loves.” In this incident, she gets up and goes hunting for her Shepherd Lover in the streets. This is a dream now, but it was based on a previous true incident. Then, she came upon a policeman.
“'I must arise now and go about the city; In the streets and in the squares I must seek him whom my soul loves.' I sought him but did not find him.” (Song of Solomon 3:2, NASB)
Principle 33: A city is safe if honest policemen with authority patrol the streets. This includes the authority to kill if necessary to maintain order. This is part of the protection of Divine Institution #4 - Government/Nationalism. Song of Solomon 3:3.
“"The watchmen who make the rounds in the city found me, And I said, 'Have you seen him whom my soul loves?'” (Song of Solomon 3:3, NASB)
You may be rebellious towards law and order and even your parents. It makes it difficult to respect laws if you see adults breaking the law, like taking a deer illegally. Or adults getting liquor or drugs for minors. Or easier yet, the teenager simply gets liquor out of his “old man’s” cache of alcoholic drinks. Or a judge or officer is crooked and it is well known, but the law is there for our protection regardless of the exceptions of bad example that you may hear of.
Principle 34: The principle of the instincts of love means that you instinctively know what will please your spouse because you are sensitive to them. Song of Solomon 3:4.
“"Scarcely had I left them When I found him whom my soul loves; I held on to him and would not let him go Until I had brought him to my mother's house, And into the room of her who conceived me."” (Song of Solomon 3:4, NASB)
It is true that in courtship there will be physical contact. However, neither the guy nor the girl should let things “progress” until they get out of hand. There are those who plan to have sex or try to have sex on a date and there is the non-planned type of sex or fornication. Both ruin lives.
In Song of Solomon 3:4, “my mother’s house” refers to the fact that the father has died previously. This is the way the engagement period was started. “Until I had brought him” isn’t conducting the big search. They were simply going the normal route in getting engaged. The brothers didn’t like the Shepherd Lover and at that point, or a bit later, the brothers tries to break up this romance.
Principle 35: Even though the Shulammite Woman and the Shepherd Lover were misunderstood by the brothers, their relationship was beautiful, passionate, but honorable. It was above board. She took him to her mother and he would have taken her to his parents, if the brothers had not interfered. Song of Solomon 3:4. You should always introduce a new date to your parents.
Principle 36: Parents have a right to express their opinions concerning your date and you should watch very closely their evaluation of your date or fiancé, if you are engaged. Do they approve or disapprove? If they disapprove, don’t get all hot. Talk it out. A tremendous amount of bitterness and emotional revolt takes place between parents and children in the dating game. Stay in fellowship and be objective. Song of Solomon 3:4.
She turned to the Daughters of Jerusalem in Song of Solomon 3:5. “By the gazelles (male deer) or by the hinds (female deer) of the field” is an analogy for man-woman love relationship. “That you will not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases” is speaking of volition. Her volition is to be awakened only by free will, not by coercion.
“"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, That you will not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases."” (Song of Solomon 3:5, NASB)
Principle 37: As a girl, you must learn to protect yourself. Learn to say “no.” When you love, you must be able to do it without a guilt complex, without sneaking it, with full expression of your love without hiding in a corner to do it. You only say yes to the right man for you, but only after you are married. Song of Solomon 3:5.
A father ought to always provide his daughter taxi money. A father ought to require call in at some time during the date. You should also be smart enough to go out with a guy and not drink. Drinking on a date is idiocy.
Be sure to watch the slumber party deal where you go to some girl’s house that the parents trust and end up with an all-night dating spree. Parents are just stupid to go out of town and leave their teenagers alone in the house.
Don’t accept a date with any guy without introducing him to your parents. Don’t let some guy pick you up at a ball game, pick you up at the corner drug store, or pick you up at some girl’s house where allegedly you are spending the night.
Act 2 - Song of Solomon 3:6-11
Solomon returns from his visit to the north with his party, including the harem and the Shulammite Woman. This scene describes Solomon’s procession moving through the streets of Jerusalem and portrayed as very glamorous. She has already rejected him in the north, but she will be wooed again in the Jerusalem palace. Comments of the bystanders will be heard as well.
Principle 38: Glamour is not the basis for choosing your future husband or wife. One should never marry for money. In Song of Solomon 3:6, “Like columns of smoke” refers to Solomon in his souped up Rolls Royce chariot. “Perfumed with myrrh and frankincense” refers to the use of perfumes in the ancient world including shaving lotions.
“"What is this coming up from the wilderness Like columns of smoke, Perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, With all scented powders of the merchant?” (Song of Solomon 3:6, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 3:7, the first bystander speaks and appears to be a young person impressed with wealth. “The traveling couch” refers to his elevated estate chair being carried by 60 of his hand-picked mighty warriors.
“"Behold, it is the traveling couch of Solomon; Sixty mighty men around it, Of the mighty men of Israel.” (Song of Solomon 3:7, NASB)
Principle 39: Never get married unless you have mastered the details of life. If you are still impressed with the glamour of the rich, the glamour of the world and its frills, you are not even close to having mastered the details of life. The girl who is impressed with the details of life is already in big trouble. She lacks spiritual discernment. She needs more Bible doctrine in her soul to develop that discernment. Song of Solomon 3:7.
The Shulammite Woman was just not impressed with the fine appearance of Solomon, his pitch, his wealth, and what he had to offer. She knew Bible doctrine and specifically the doctrines describing God's viewpoint on the proper bounds for courtship between believers. She also knew that marriage is the only time for sex between the husband and wife.
Are you impressed because your boyfriend drives a Vette or other expensive sports car? Any guy who tries to impress a girl with his material wealth and tries to snow her with glamour is a stupid, predatory male. If you are a male that needs the details of life to conquer women, you are no good.
Principle 40: Never try to impress a woman using your material possessions. Never. Never flash a bankroll and so on. Because, if you succeed, she is not worth having. You will have destroyed the soul principle in love. Song of Solomon 3:7.
For example, a boy was asked, “Why do you wear your hair long?” He replied, “Because the girls like it and my girl said I looked cute.” A guy who does what the girls like surrenders his masculinity. He becomes a male with feminine traits and loses his individuality.
There are many reasons why some of the modern males wears long hair. Is it right or wrong? It is up to the individual whether he wants to think human viewpoint or divine viewpoint. Divine viewpoint is found in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 11:14.
“Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him,” (1 Corinthians 11:14, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 3:8, the second bystander speaks and appears to be a young man impressed with the military. This bystander feels Solomon is quite a man. He looks at his soldiers and their décor and feels it is all fantastic.
“"All of them are wielders of the sword, Expert in war; Each man has his sword at his side, Guarding against the terrors of the night.” (Song of Solomon 3:8, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 3:9, the third bystander speaks and describes Solomon’s wheels. He felt Solomon had a fantastic “automobile.”
“"King Solomon has made for himself a sedan chair From the timber of Lebanon.” (Song of Solomon 3:9, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 3:10, the fourth bystander speaks and describes the luxurious interior of Solomon’s chariot. Women who got into this rig just melted in Solomon’s arms and all concerned were unhappy.
“"He made its posts of silver, Its back of gold And its seat of purple fabric, With its interior lovingly fitted out By the daughters of Jerusalem.” (Song of Solomon 3:10, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 3:11, the fifth bystander says something like, “Hey girls, look at this guy, he is fantastic! Look at his glamor since the day that Bathsheba, his mother, placed the crown on his head!”
“"Go forth, O daughters of Zion, And gaze on King Solomon with the crown With which his mother has crowned him On the day of his wedding, And on the day of his gladness of heart."” (Song of Solomon 3:11, NASB)
Act 3 - Song of Solomon 4:1 - 7:9
This scene takes place in the royal palace in Jerusalem where Solomon woos the beautiful Shulammite Woman, wanting her to marry him. She refuses and continues to be occupied with her Shepherd Lover. Solomon puts a great deal of pressure on her.
Principle 41: The Bible must be interpreted in accordance with the time in which it was written. This is not pornography. Song of Solomon 4 should not be considered X-rated.
Principle 42: If you are interested in some girl or woman and thinking she is the right one for you and she is not beautiful to you, then she is not the right woman for you. Song of Solomon 4:1.
“"How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves behind your veil; Your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Mount Gilead.” (Song of Solomon 4:1, NASB)
She may not be beautiful as far as beauty standards go, but she is beautiful to you. You can then use some spiritual discernment to determine what Bible doctrine is in her soul. If that all checks out, she may be the one for you. There is nothing wrong with a Christian marrying Miss America providing she is a positive believer and after you have confirmed that she has Bible doctrine in her soul. If you both gain the soul rapport that only Bible doctrine in the soul can bring, she may really be the right women for you. This is also true for the women in discerning whether that great guy you met is the right one for you.
The woman’s beauty is described here with ancient illustrations. Note Solomon’s pitch. “Your eyes are like doves behind your veil” refers to her eyes framed by her hair. As far as most ancients were concerned, there were two aspects of physical beauty - beauty of face and beauty of body.
Beauty of face meant excellent bone structure. Beauty of eyes meant they were very large, wide apart, a fine nose bridge, very clear with eye shadow to enlarge or accent their eyes with the result as pseudo dove-eyes. These were probably very blue eyes with the white part of the eye (sclera) as very white. In Song of Solomon 4:1, “Your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Mount Gilead” refers to raven black goats. Her hair was raven black.
In Song of Solomon 4:2, “Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes” refers to even and well-arranged teeth. One of the problems of the ancient world was dental problems. Some beautiful girl might have her front teeth missing, or many of them half-rotted, or stumps, or when she smiles she is toothless. If a girl was born with good teeth, this was a mark of great beauty.
“"Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins, And not one among them has lost her young.” (Song of Solomon 4:2, NASB)
“Which have come up from their washing” means she had very clean, white teeth. How did they brush their teeth 3,000 years ago? Eating an apple made a good toothbrush or chewing on a certain type of twig. “All of which bear twins” means she has a perfect bite, her uppers and lowers match perfectly, which indicates that her bone-structure was good. Also, she hasn’t lost any of her teeth.
In Song of Solomon 4:3, “Your lips are like a scarlet thread” means she had good color in her lips. She didn’t look like a fugitive from a blood bank with pale as wind-driven chalky lips. “Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate Behind your veil” is describing bone-structure, coloring, symmetry. A pomegranate has beauty, symmetry.
“"Your lips are like a scarlet thread, And your mouth is lovely. Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate Behind your veil.” (Song of Solomon 4:3, NASB)
Principle 43: Your right opposite number won’t be a clod, unless you are. If you are getting Bible doctrine and waiting upon God's timing, the right one for you will be intelligent, able to converse, and able to express thoughts on a variety of subjects.
In Song of Solomon 4:4, “Your neck is like the tower of David, Built with rows of stones” sounds more like a football player or a giraffe than a beautiful woman. This is speaking of symmetry. The neck is not too long or too short.
“"Your neck is like the tower of David, Built with rows of stones On which are hung a thousand shields, All the round shields of the mighty men.” (Song of Solomon 4:4, NASB)
In most cases, as goes the neck so goes the body. Ladies with long necks often wear higher collars. Ladies with short necks often wear lower cut stuff. A neck is also emphasized with jewelry, her neck can set up a diamond necklace very beautifully.
In Song of Solomon 4:5, the breasts are mentioned. Why? There is a reason for it. A woman was not considered to be of marriage age until this part of her anatomy was developed. Often in the ancient world, they did not know their age.
“"Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle Which feed among the lilies.” (Song of Solomon 4:5, NASB)
Also in the ancient world, the female breast was just not considered to be an object of pornography. This part was often left exposed without arousing the evil thoughts of the male. This is also part of the beauty of a woman.
Principle 44: A woman who is truly beautiful is always truly feminine. Her response to the right kind of man is then indeed complete. Song of Solomon 4:1-5. Note also the inner beauty mentioned in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 and 1 Peter 3:3-4.
“Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NASB)
“Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4, NASB)
Principle 45: The Shulammite Woman was over 20 years old, of marriage age, and therefore was able to make her own decision concerning who she would marry. Solomon did have a right to woo her, but it was a two-way street. Often the guy thinks he has found the right one, but she may not think so. She is within her rights to reject a suitor who thinks he is God’s answer to women.
Principle 46: An evil mind destroys capacity for personal love whether in Christian courtship or in marriage. Evil thinking also places restrictions in the framework of a national entity.
In Song of Solomon 4:5, Solomon is moving down the body, and by the end of Song of Solomon 4:5, she feels it is time to stop it and does. You girls on dates will have to stop some “animal” cold in his tracks who you are dating. Don’t go with an animal who has nothing but premarital sex on his mind.
In Song of Solomon 4:6, notice that she has paid no attention to Solomon. “Until the cool of the day” means that Solomon could talk until the sun comes up and she would not be convinced. She was not interested in his wooing. She was occupied with her Shepherd Lover.
“"Until the cool of the day When the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh And to the hill of frankincense.” (Song of Solomon 4:6, NASB)
Principle 47: The right kind of man or right kind of woman is worth waiting for.
In Song of Solomon 4:6, “mountain of myrrh” refers to the large number of memories she had stored up. Her fragrance of memories kept her true to her Shepherd Lover. “Hill of frankincense” refers to the most valuable perfume of the ancient world. Using this analogy, he was very valuable to her. She also had confidence that her Shepherd Lover felt the same way about her. Prov. 31:10-31.
“"Until the cool of the day When the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh And to the hill of frankincense.” (Song of Solomon 4:6, NASB)
“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12, NASB)
Principle 48: If you have met the right one for you and you are geographically separated during your courtship, you never have to worry about being true to one another.
If you feel you have met the woman for you using spiritual discernment, you don’t have to chain her to a tree in your absence. You don’t have to stand guard over her and be jealous when she talks to some other male. The fragrance of memories will protect her when the wolves gather.
If you enter military service and one day you receive a “dear John” letter, then she wasn’t the right one for you at that time. God will bring another. God's grace should always be sufficient for any situation, even for rejection during courtship. Another right kind of woman will be brought to you. Spiritual discernment through continual intake and application of Bible doctrine is essential in Christian courtship and for the rest of your life.
In Song of Solomon 4:7, Solomon really gave his pitch. Look at the smugness of Solomon. As far as he was concerned it was only a matter of time before he won the fair lady. Solomon was the howling wolf, but she doesn’t respond.
“"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you.” (Song of Solomon 4:7, NASB)
Principle 49: Watch out for the character that takes too much credit to himself.
It is one thing to have confidence in a love relationship, but Solomon thought he was God’s gift to all women. He was irresistible to all women. This is the sign of the wrong kind of man! Some guys think that all they have to do is smile at a girl or a woman and they will all just fall down and worship him. Let’s look at Solomon’s big pitch where he felt he couldn’t lose. He was a very wealthy, fat-headed baboon type.
“"Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, May you come with me from Lebanon. Journey down from the summit of Amana, From the summit of Senir and Hermon, From the dens of lions, From the mountains of leopards.” (Song of Solomon 4:8, NASB)
Notice the term “my bride” used in each verse of Song of Solomon 4:8-12. Solomon had already mentally regarding himself as married to her. Even in his speech pattern, he was getting way ahead of himself.
Principle 50: Beware of the man who “mentally marries” you before he has courted you. This is body worship or infatuation.
Beware the lines used such as, “I feel like I’ve known you all life.” As you know, thought life is a prelude to courtship, but in many cases it gets quite ridiculous. “Will you marry me?” is ridiculous on the first date.
Solomon figured that after he finished this speech, she would fall all over him and say, “Yes.” Such mental male egocentricity! In Song of Solomon 4:8, Solomon has a very beautiful castle on the top of one of the mountains mentioned. This is where he intended to spend their honeymoon. And when he called her “my bride,” he was already certain that she would accept. After all, Solomon was used to getting his way.
In Song of Solomon 4:9, “my sister” does not mean she is his sister, but is a term of endearment. “Made my heart beat faster” refers to the norms and standards of Solomon. This means that this girl measured up to his norms and standards more than any other girl he had met. “With a single strand of your necklace” refers to the attractive necklace around her neck.
“"You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride; You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, With a single strand of your necklace.” (Song of Solomon 4:9, NASB)
Principle 51: Solomon, who has had sexual encounters with many women, had 1000 wives! He was negative to the Word of God and had scar tissue in his soul, so was receiving divine discipline. The result of his reversionism was that he never developed the spiritual discernment necessary to recognize the right kind of woman for him.
Principle 52: Never rush into marriage!
In Song of Solomon 4:10, “How much better is your love than wine” is Solomon’s comparison of love to a good bottle of wine. As you could imagine, Solomon had a tremendous wine cellar as king. This is a poor comparison to what her Shepherd Lover said in Song of Solomon 8:6, “For love is as strong as death.” His love for his right one was true love and was “as strong as death.”
“"How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, And the fragrance of your oils Than all kinds of spices!” (Song of Solomon 4:10, NASB)
“"Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD.” (Song of Solomon 8:6, NASB)
Principle 53: Beware of words without any character to back them up. When someone says, “I love you,” what does that really mean?
As wine stimulated Solomon, so did she stimulate him. However, love is more than a biological urge. There must be soul rapport.
Principle 54: Just because some guy or girl has the power to turn you on, doesn’t mean they are the right one for you! Physical beauty is not the criterion for marriage! Libido or sexual urge is not love! Song of Solomon 4:10.
In Song of Solomon 4:11, “Honey and milk are under your tongue” refers to the stimulated response of a genuine kiss between a couple with Bible doctrine who have dated and confirmed that they not only love the other’s appearance, but love each other’s character, the Bible doctrine in their souls, and the divine wisdom that they have demonstrated toward each other and to those around them during their dating. After marriage, this true love relationship will continue.
“Fragrance of Lebanon” refers to the Cedars that grew in that area. In the ancient world, everybody had body order as they didn’t bathe as often as we do today. So smell was important.
“"Your lips, my bride, drip honey; Honey and milk are under your tongue, And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.” (Song of Solomon 4:11, NASB)
Principle 55: The value of arriving at the marriage altar as a virgin is priceless. Virginity at the altar is a symbol of the woman having found the right man for her. It signifies character and stability from Bible doctrine in her soul. This of course applies to the man as well. There is not a double-standard. Song of Solomon 4:12.
“"A garden locked is my sister, my bride, A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up.” (Song of Solomon 4:12, NASB)
Today you hear conversations like this. “The worst possible thing is for you to arrive at the marriage altar as a virgin. You need experience.” You’ll hear this from girlfriends and you’ll most definitely hear it from some guys. The fact that you need sexual experience before marriage is absolutely false. Check out Proverbs 6:32.
“The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it.” (Proverbs 6:32, NASB)
Principle 56: God has designed the woman for her right kind of man. You don’t need sexual “experience” to prepare you for life in marriage with the one you select to marry. Your soul rapport based on Bible doctrine will provide everything via God's grace. If a man or woman have sexual affairs prior to marriage, they will never reach the sexual rapport that God design them to have. God has designed the erotic index in marriage to be 100%. But the average marriage never experiences that level because of mental or physical adultery before marriage.
A few definitions are in order. Adultery is a term used for both single and married people. It can be premarital sex or extramarital sex. Proverbs 6:32 for example.
“The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it.” (Proverbs 6:32, NASB)
Fornication refers often to religious sex orgies which took place in some ancient religions. Fornication is also used as a synonym for adultery. It can refer to married or unmarried people. See Jude 1:7.
“just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them, since they in the same way as these indulged in gross immorality and went after strange flesh, are exhibited as an example in undergoing the punishment of eternal fire.” (Jude 1:7, NASB)
There is much ridicule of purity and virginity these days. Often joining some fraternities or sororities involves the aspect of having had sexual relations. The pressure can be fantastic. You don’t need such a crutch for your social life.
Principle 57: There is nothing wrong with purity. Purity is strength of soul! Song of Solomon 4:12.
“"A garden locked is my sister, my bride, A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up.” (Song of Solomon 4:12, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 4:13-14, Solomon couldn’t wait to make love to her. Solomon listed other spices because he had a fantastic collection of all types of spice in the ancient world. He was already fantasizing.
“"Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates With choice fruits, henna with nard plants, Nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, With all the trees of frankincense, Myrrh and aloes, along with all the finest spices.” (Song of Solomon 4:13-14, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 4:15, Solomon became very passionate. He said that just like a drink from a cold well to a thirsty man is this woman who has the potential of satisfying him throughout their life together. This is a peak of passion.
“"You are a garden spring, A well of fresh water, And streams flowing from Lebanon."” (Song of Solomon 4:15, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 4:16, the Shulammite Woman talks. She was occupied with her Shepherd Lover. She wanted the winds to carry her fragrance to her Shepherd Lover so he would know where she was and would come to rescue her.
“"Awake, O north wind, And come, wind of the south; Make my garden breathe out fragrance, Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden And eat its choice fruits!"” (Song of Solomon 4:16, NASB)
“May my beloved (Shepherd Lover) come into his garden And eat its choice fruits!” means she belonged to her Shepherd Lover and he belonged to her. She wanted to marry her Shepherd Lover. She was positive towards him. She anticipated her Shepherd Lover making love to her in marriage.
Principle 58: Occupation with Christ is the deterrent in time of temptation. Song of Solomon 4:16. By analogy, the believer’s spiritual occupation with Christ becomes a great blessing when you are under pressure. Also, occupation with Christ becomes a great deterrent against evil when tempted.
In Song of Solomon 5, we are still in the Royal Palace in Jerusalem. Here Solomon, the villain, continues to put a great deal of pressure on the Shulammite Woman. He wanted to marry her.
Principle 59: Beware of the determined suitor who does not take your feelings into consideration, who will go to any length to date you, even go to church with you, or stop drinking, or stop using drugs, or whatever you don’t like about his habits or character.
In Song of Solomon 5:1, Solomon was talking. He never skipped a beat. He was determined to have her. He was just not going to take no for an answer.
Song of Solomon 5:1: Solomon has heard her say, “I wish my Shepherd Lover would come and rescue me.” And he replied, “I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride.” Solomon was saying, “I’m here, I’m the guy you should be interested in.”
“"I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh along with my balsam. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk. Eat, friends; Drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers."” (Song of Solomon 5:1, NASB)
Principle 60: Beware of the fat-headed, handsome type (God’s gift to woman type) who has a false sense of confidence because his mental attitude sin of pride. This type thinks every woman is madly in love with him, secretly of course. Song of Solomon 5:1.
Principle 61: Mental attitude sins destroys any capacity for true love. In his pride, he appeals to his experiences with women. Song of Solomon 5:1.
In Song of Solomon 5:1, Solomon is saying, “I’m a real lover.” He was rehashing the girls he had conquered. “Myrrh” refers to the very pleasant memory with one girl. “Balsam” refers to a spice in the ancient world and refers to another of Solomon’s relationships this one with a very exciting type of girl. “Honeycomb” refers to another relationship with the sweet baby-doll type, the dumb blonde with nothing but a great body.
“I have drunk my wine and my milk” refers to a triple-threat type of girl that is triple trouble for any man. This is also true for the ladies seeking their right kind of man. The triple-threat type is a girl with beauty, brains, but without any norms or standards. This type has the morals of an alley cat.
Principle 62: Premarital sex does not help marriage. It horribly hinders it. Song of Solomon 5:1.
Principle 63: A girl may be very strict morally, but if she lets down a bit and starts drinking, she becomes a target for the rat-pack set, the bird-dogs. The six-pack of beer just happened to be in the back seat. Understand that alcohol is a depressant rather than a stimulant and destroys your norms and standards.
Somewhere along the line nearly everybody takes a drink. Who introduced you to the bottle? Some guy or guys? More sweet, stupid, nice things have been turned into monsters, just because she shared a can or two of beer with a “nice” guy in the back seat of some car. You had the rosy-glow that night, but the next morning you woke up with a guilt complex a mile long.
The Shulammite Woman didn’t touch the king’s wine. Solomon was trying to turn her on, but it wasn’t working! She recalled an experience in Song of Solomon 5:2, with her fragrance of memories.
“"I was asleep but my heart was awake. A voice! My beloved was knocking: 'Open to me, my sister, my darling, My dove, my perfect one! For my head is drenched with dew, My locks with the damp of the night.'” (Song of Solomon 5:2, NASB)
Principle 64: The Shepherd Lover would not take advantage of the woman whom he loved. Song of Solomon 5:2-5.
In this incident, he came to a side door and called to her. It was night and damp. In Song of Solomon 5:3-5, she was not dressed to see her Shepherd Lover. But her lover lifted the latch, but then thought better of what he was doing. By this time, she was going to let him in, but he had gone.
“"I have taken off my dress, How can I put it on again? I have washed my feet, How can I dirty them again? "My beloved extended his hand through the opening, And my feelings were aroused for him. "I arose to open to my beloved; And my hands dripped with myrrh, And my fingers with liquid myrrh, On the handles of the bolt.” (Song of Solomon 5:3-5, NASB)
Principle 65: Even when two believers are dating and have already determined that they have found the right one for them, it will be a terrific temptation to make out and let it go too far!
If you are out of fellowship and in emotional revolt, it may seem the most logical thing in the world to have sex. You may sense no kick-back of conscience at the time. Emotional revolt throws all caution to the wind. Or you may reason, “I’m out with the one I’m going to marry anyway.”
The man should “wake up” and do the honorable thing even though he loves her and wants her in the worst way. He should take her home. If they are at her house, then he should get out of there. He should want to protect her honor and her soul more than to have sex too soon with her.
Principle 66: Some dates will have to be cut short because of the temptation to have sex is getting too great. It is far better to cut the date short and preserve your integrity as a man and her honor as a woman, than to go all the way. In Song of Solomon 5:6, her beloved had gone.
“"I opened to my beloved, But my beloved had turned away and had gone! My heart went out to him as he spoke. I searched for him but I did not find him; I called him but he did not answer me.” (Song of Solomon 5:6, NASB)
Principle 67: There is a point in mental and physical contact where your conscience will not hold you back. The solution is to never let yourself circumstantially get into a situation where both are weak. Half of morality today is a lack of opportunity. If the parents are gone and you are alone in the house with your boyfriend, how much self-control do you have then?
Now, the Shulammite Woman got dressed and went out to look for her Shepherd Lover. This was really a foolish thing to do. She got into emotional revolt and was not thinking straight. See category on Emotional Revolt of the Soul.
The phrase found in Song of Solomon 5:6, “My heart went out to him” means she didn’t use good sense and is a term for emotional revolt. She was usually a woman who was thinking under stress, but had become unstable. He shouldn’t have called on her at such an odd hour. He was honorable, but he could have been more honorable by not coming to where she was living at that hour. Men shouldn’t put themselves in such a dangerous situation! Use common sense!
Principle 68: Both the man and the woman must use common sense and stay away from emotional revolt. Soul fainting under such conditions can ruin you. Song of Solomon 5:6. Both must not get out of fellowship at the same time. As long as one stays in fellowship they are a safeguard to the other. When both get out of fellowship, then you are in trouble.
In Song of Solomon 5:7, the watchman (police) found her (nice ladies didn’t walk around at that time of night) so they arrested her on a charge of prostitution. We know this from the phrase “took away my shawl from me.” Of course, she was innocent of the charge, but she was put in jail and her brothers had to bail her out in the middle of the night. This is one of the big reasons why the Shulammite Woman’s brothers were against her courtship with the Shepherd Lover, so they sent her up north.
“"The watchmen who make the rounds in the city found me, They struck me and wounded me; The guardsmen of the walls took away my shawl from me.” (Song of Solomon 5:7, NASB)
Principle 69: Be considerate of your parents when dating. Do not expect perfection out of them.
In Song of Solomon 5:8, the Shulammite Woman earnestly entreated the Daughters of Jerusalem to help find her Shepherd Lover. She was ready to be married.
“"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, If you find my beloved, As to what you will tell him: For I am lovesick."” (Song of Solomon 5:8, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 5:9, the Daughters of Jerusalem say, “What is one man more than another man, they are all alike. Do you not know what you are turning down in Solomon?”
“"What kind of beloved is your beloved, O most beautiful among women? What kind of beloved is your beloved, That thus you adjure us?"” (Song of Solomon 5:9, NASB)
Principle 70: When you find the right one for you, they will be unsurpassed, not excelled. Why? Because you have diligently confirmed that they are the right one for you. When someone asked her about her husband to be, she knew the Shepherd Lover is the right man for her!
Principle 71: When you meet the right opposite number for you, you will know it. You will know it in your soul. It will be a mutual rapport love of soul. You will have no doubts. You will be confident.
In Song of Solomon 5:10-16, she described her Shepherd Lover. He was tanned. He had thick black hair. His eyes were clear and well-spaced. He had a handsome face. She recalled his kisses and they were a fragrance in her mind. His hands were manly and strong. He had strong legs. She trembled when she saw Him. He was altogether lovely in her estimation.
Principle 72: Just as the Shulammite Woman was able to recall in detail her love, even so when we begin to take in Bible doctrine we get into a natural type of witnessing for which we were designed. This is the description of a woman who has found the right man for her. A lady would describe differently than a guy.
Principle 73: The Shulammite Woman as she glowingly described the right man for her was actually reflecting his glory. 1 Cor. 11:2; 1 Cor. 6:1.
“Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you.” (1 Corinthians 11:2, NASB)
“Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous and not before the saints?” (1 Corinthians 6:1, NASB)
The right one for you is always worth waiting for. People get in a hurry. There is no rush!
Principle 74: When you identify the right kind of man for you, you will have learned many things about him. He will be faithful in his job, he will have character, he will have a sense of responsibility and so on.
“"My beloved has gone down to his garden, To the beds of balsam, To pasture his flock in the gardens And gather lilies.” (Song of Solomon 6:2, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 6:2, “My beloved has gone down to his garden” refers to his daily activities and also a place of pleasure. This is actually saying that this man was oriented to his job as shepherd and enjoyed it. He had character, would never shirk from work to be done on his job, and does his job well. She identified him as “her beloved.” His life was a pleasant life and he had a good disposition.
Principle 75: When you have identified the right kind of man for you, his disposition will be compatible with yours. Song of Solomon 6:2.
Principle 76: By the time you meet your right opposite number, he ought to be adjusted to life, and have demonstrated that he takes responsibility for his decisions. Song of Solomon 6:2.
You don’t want to marry a male child or a mama’s boy. No one wants to raise a 25 year old child. Don’t marry too young. A teenage boy is half boy and half man. He has not yet developed a sense of responsibility. Going steady is insane, idiocy. It generally leads to sexual promiscuity including living together.
In Song of Solomon 6:2, “Pasture his flock in the gardens And gather lilies” means he was exciting to be around. He was “where it’s happening.” The lilies are the details of life.
Principle 77: The right kind of man for you will enjoy the details of life without being enslaved by them. This is a rare type.
In Song of Solomon 6:3, “I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine” indicates that she was in his soul and he was in her soul. This is mutual confidence. They had the capacity to enjoy each other.
“"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine, He who pastures his flock among the lilies."” (Song of Solomon 6:3, NASB)
Principle 78: The couple that has determined that they have found the right one for each other must have the capacity to enjoy each other rather than endure each other! Song of Solomon 6:3.
Principle 79: Ladies must have confidence towards their right man once she has confirmed that he is positive to Bible doctrine and they have reached a mutual soul rapport. If you have doubts that he is the right kind of man for you, he is likely not the right one for you.
Principle 80: Christian courtship and dating in general can only lead to two possible outcomes. The most likely outcome is that he does not appear to be the right kind of man for you. The other outcome is the most desirable one, but with the lowest odds – that you have met the right one for you. The problem with the last outcome is that it has to be same outcome on every date. Dating is really a mental and spiritual evaluation process. You want to know what is in his head. You want to know what is in his soul. He should be doing the same mental and spiritual analysis regarding you. The physical attractiveness should have been positive for both of you before you agreed to the first date.
Along the way in the dating process, many situations will come up that show the character, sense of humor, integrity, sense of virtue, norms and standards, positive volition to Bible doctrine, etc. regarding your date. Take careful and detailed mental notes.
Soul rapport love involves one person in your soul who you can never forget or never erase. This love is unique and special for them no matter what they do. Song of Solomon 1:7.
“"Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, Where do you pasture your flock, Where do you make it lie down at noon? For why should I be like one who veils herself Beside the flocks of your companions?"” (Song of Solomon 1:7, NASB)
You must know something about the opposite sex and your right one will be a member of the opposite sex. If you haven’t sorted that out yet, you are in trouble.
The soul rapport love between man and woman is protective. When you become reactive to the right kind of man for you, he is no longer protective. When you become reactive, you are in a dangerous position. Song of Solomon 2:4, Song of Solomon 1:13, Song of Solomon 4:6.
“"He has brought me to his banquet hall, And his banner over me is love.” (Song of Solomon 2:4, NASB)
“"My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts.” (Song of Solomon 1:13, NASB)
“"Until the cool of the day When the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh And to the hill of frankincense.” (Song of Solomon 4:6, NASB)
A man in your soul, ladies, is the greatest protection a woman ever had. He doesn’t run you down, make fun of you, razz you, or embarrass you.
True rapport love between man and woman must come from human volition. Anything that coerces her free will, destroys her ability to identify and respond. Song of Solomon 2:7.
“"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, That you do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases."” (Song of Solomon 2:7, NASB)
She does not respond as a slave, but as a free agent. Many men stupidly try to destroy the freedom of the woman. Bible doctrine promotes personal freedom.
Love is tone-oriented. There is one man in your soul and you can tell that something is wrong by his voice or the expression on his face. Song of Solomon 2:8. A man can say; “I love you” but his tone says, “What’s for breakfast.” A woman can ask a man, “Something wrong?” And he says, “Nuthin.” She knows better! How? By his tone!
“"Listen! My beloved! Behold, he is coming, Climbing on the mountains, Leaping on the hills!” (Song of Solomon 2:8, NASB)
A woman’s love responds to the right kind of man for her. When he is present and when absent. Song of Solomon 2:6, Song of Solomon 8:3, Song of Solomon 3:1.
“"Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me."” (Song of Solomon 2:6, NASB)
“"Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me."” (Song of Solomon 8:3, NASB)
“"On my bed night after night I sought him Whom my soul loves; I sought him but did not find him.” (Song of Solomon 3:1, NASB)
True rapport love between man and woman causes illness when unfulfilled. Song of Solomon 2:5, Song of Solomon 5:8. “I am lovesick.”
“"Sustain me with raisin cakes, Refresh me with apples, Because I am lovesick.” (Song of Solomon 2:5, NASB)
“"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, If you find my beloved, As to what you will tell him: For I am lovesick."” (Song of Solomon 5:8, NASB)
A woman goes to pieces mentally and physically sometimes when her right man is not behaving as he should. Maybe he is drinking, maybe he is unfaithful, or maybe he has a job that keeps him away all the time. Hang-ups in the mentality of the soul can overflow into the body and cause some illnesses.
True rapport love between man and woman is recognized by each other. Other people may not recognize it, but two involved certainly do. Song of Solomon 6:3, Song of Solomon 7:10.
“"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine, He who pastures his flock among the lilies."” (Song of Solomon 6:3, NASB)
“"I am my beloved's, And his desire is for me.” (Song of Solomon 7:10, NASB)
There is a strength and weakness in rapport love between man and woman. Song of Solomon 8:6-7. The strength is the soul love itself. The weakness is mental attitude sins, especially jealousy.
“"Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD. "Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised."” (Song of Solomon 8:6-7, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 6:4, Solomon the villain continued with his pitch. He was persistent. “Beautiful as Tirzah” refers to the royal residence of Solomon which was very beautiful with great symmetry and one of the most beautiful homes of all time. Most castles are a cold pile of junk. One king started with 10 rooms, the next king had 50 rooms added, the next a wing and so on. The exceptions are the great French chateaus.
“"You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling, As lovely as Jerusalem, As awesome as an army with banners.” (Song of Solomon 6:4, NASB)
Solomon had great poise, so he kept right on moving. Solomon was used to getting what he wanted. Solomon never really stopped until she was rescued, and of course that stopped him because he could not talk to thin air. He was saying, “You and the castle go together.” When you have to make this kind of pitch, obviously this is not your right woman.
Principle 81: Be able to distinguish between flattery and a true compliment. How do you tell the difference? By application of your experience and Bible doctrine in your soul to the situation.
In Song of Solomon 6:4, “lovely as Jerusalem” refers to the beautiful white city on the hills. “As awesome as an army with banners” is the equivalent of the military standard, the colors which were beautiful banners for communication and identification. A beautiful banner was planted on a hill to gather the troops in battle so they would keep track of each other.
Solomon was saying, “You are as majestic as an Army with standards and banners. I would like to communicate with you. I would like to identify with you.” In other words, he wanted to marry her.
In Song of Solomon 6:5, “Turn your eyes away from me” is an exaggeration because she hadn’t even been looking at him. Solomon apparently had a sense of humor.
“"Turn your eyes away from me, For they have confused me; Your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Gilead.” (Song of Solomon 6:5, NASB)
Principle 82: Beware of a villain with a sense of humor. He is the life of the party type, the guy that is fun to be around. He can be dangerous. This is the type of guy who can tease you into a drink and later make a big joke out of the whole thing. Song of Solomon 6:5.
The Shulammite Woman was glaring at Solomon and he turned it into a joke. Many a girl has fallen for some charming guy who is witty and good for a lot of laughs. Remember, they run out of laughs after a while!
Solomon repeated himself and gave the old physical pitch again. In Song of Solomon 6:6 “Your teeth” means she had good physical hygiene and was disciplined enough to brush her teeth daily. “All of which bear twins” means her teeth were well matched and her bite was good. “Not one among them has lost her young” means she was not toothless.
“"Your teeth are like a flock of ewes Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins, And not one among them has lost her young.” (Song of Solomon 6:6, NASB)
Principle 83: Good personal hygiene and habits are necessary when seeking the right one for you. It just does not speak well of you if you are sloppy in dress, have dandruff in your eyebrows, pick your nose in public, have “sleep” in your eyes, and don’t bathe often enough. Often this is indicative of deep emotional problems.
In Song of Solomon 6:7, “Your temples” refers to the beauty of her coloring, the symmetry of her face as it relates to her beautiful hairdo.
“"Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate Behind your veil.” (Song of Solomon 6:7, NASB)
Beginning with Song of Solomon 6:8, Solomon began to brag. He had a good record of wooing the women so far and he was determined to keep up his reputation as a great lover of women. Some men are weak and some men are strong. Solomon was the strong type.
“"There are sixty queens and eighty concubines, And maidens without number;” (Song of Solomon 6:8, NASB)
Principles 84: Some men are weak and appeal to the mother instinct in a woman. Do not marry a man because you feel sorry for him! Don’t mess with such a man.
One type is the weak man. He is the weak sister that appeals to the mother instinct in the woman who then often thinks its love. The sickest type of marriage involves a weak sister male and a woman with a mother instinct towards him. You are not in love just because you feel sorry for some idiot!
Other type is the aggressive male. Most men today are weak. A few are not, but they are aggressive. There are two categories of aggressive males. The right kind of man for you and the rest of the aggressive wolves. You must know how to use spiritual discernment to tell the difference with some confidence. This is where Bible doctrine in your soul cannot be overemphasized!
Principle 85: Male aggressiveness is a manifestation of love between a man and a woman where he has found the right kind of woman for him. However, all male aggressiveness is not love. Some of it is predatory. This would be the Clark Gable type. Male aggressiveness should be evident between a man and woman who have confirmed that they have found the one for them to marry, but tempered with principle and protection for his woman. The woman responds as did the Shulammite Woman to the Shepherd Lover.
The Shulammite Woman said yes to him when he was absent. She said yes to him when he came to rescue her at the end of Song of Solomon 6. When male aggressiveness is not based on the soul rapport from the right kind of man for the woman, the woman must say no.
She must learn to say no before she has found the right kind of man for her. This is difficult for the teenage girl. Teenagers must develop a lot of spiritual discernment in a hurry! She will learn to say no after she has found the right kind of man for her, but this is easy because her future husband affords her protection because she is in his soul. Solomon’s aggressiveness was false. The Shepherd Lover’s aggressiveness was true.
In Song of Solomon 6:3, the Shulammite Woman was identifying the right kind of man for her when she said, “I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.”
“"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine, He who pastures his flock among the lilies."” (Song of Solomon 6:3, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 6:4, here Solomon played the aggressive male all the way through Song of Solomon 6:9. She was tested, but stayed true!
“"You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling, As lovely as Jerusalem, As awesome as an army with banners.” (Song of Solomon 6:4, NASB)
The woman is designed to respond with rapport love to right kind of man for her. Therefore, if she responds with rapport love before she has confirmed he is the one for her, this love response followed by a breakup can set her back temporarily and can have a serious long-term impact on her capacity to love, scar tissue in her soul, etc. She needs to get back with Bible doctrine to drive the scar tissue from her soul and replace it with divine viewpoint toward the right kind of man yet to be found.
Knowledge of this doctrine plus occupation with Christ plus faith-rest protects the woman until God provides the right kind of man for her. Some have and some haven’t yet found the right kind of man for them. In the meantime, Jesus Christ is the protector of the woman.
Principle 86: Until the right man comes along, Jesus Christ is your protection! He protects you through His Word which is His mind, His very thinking. The Lord loves you with an unconditional love. Love toward God is a protection for love between husband and wife and, prior to marriage, love between a man and woman who have determined that they are the right ones and have a soul rapport type of love for each other.
Our passage from Song of Solomon indicates three kinds of aggressiveness. False aggressiveness from Solomon in Song of Solomon 6:4-9. True aggressiveness from the Shepherd Lover in Song of Solomon 6:11-12. False aggressiveness of a woman. This is the jealous queen on an emotional revolt in Song of Solomon 7:1-9. In Song of Solomon 7, Solomon will go weak and the jealous queen will go strong. Mental attitude sins makes the queen aggressive.
Principle 87: Beware of the man who brags about his conquests. This involves dates who may use this to prove they are great lovers or guys who discuss this girl or that girl that they have “conquered.” This type is bad news. Song of Solomon 6:8.
“"There are sixty queens and eighty concubines, And maidens without number;” (Song of Solomon 6:8, NASB)
Principle 88: Beware of the principle of comparative wooing. Song of Solomon 6:9.
In Song of Solomon 6:9, Solomon is saying, “You are the one, the choice of your mother, the choice above of all the women in my harem. You are better than all the girls I have dated or married.”
“But my dove, my perfect one, is unique: She is her mother's only daughter; She is the pure child of the one who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed, The queens and the concubines also, and they praised her, saying,” (Song of Solomon 6:9, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 6:10, the Daughters of Jerusalem speak. They have observed the Shulammite Woman who has observed her Shepherd Lover coming from afar to rescue her. It is just like someone has turned on the lights.
“'Who is this that grows like the dawn, As beautiful as the full moon, As pure as the sun, As awesome as an army with banners?'” (Song of Solomon 6:10, NASB)
“Who is this that grows like the dawn” refers to rays of light coming from a rising son. She is the glory of the Shepherd Lover and she truly responds to him. The sun refers to the Shepherd Lover. “As beautiful as the full moon” refers to how the moon reflects the light from the sun. This analogy means the Shulammite Woman reflects the glory of the true aggressive man for her. “As awesome as an army with banners” refers to the level of communication, verbal and otherwise between the right kind of man who has found the right kind of woman for him.
In Song of Solomon 6:11, apparently the Shulammite Woman was in front of a large window in the castle and was looking out even as Solomon was wooing her. Down below was an orchard and far to the right the chariot of her Shepherd Lover was approaching. She excused herself, “I want to get a breath of fresh air.” She went down to the orchard to “see the fruits of the valley.”
“"I went down to the orchard of nut trees To see the blossoms of the valley, To see whether the vine had budded Or the pomegranates had bloomed.” (Song of Solomon 6:11, NASB)
She came down the outside stairway and she met him in the orchard. He picked her up and they took off. Solomon watched some of it.
In Song of Solomon 6:12, “noble people” is נדיב עַם (am nâdı̂yb) and means beside my prince. The Hebrew translation is, “Before I knew it in my soul, I was beside my prince in a chariot.”
“"Before I was aware, my soul set me Over the chariots of my noble people."” (Song of Solomon 6:12, NASB)
Principle 89: The soul rapport love between husband and wife begins with awareness in the soul. You must understand the soul. The body is an extension of the soul, the body is under the control of the soul.
Song of Solomon 6:12 is the deliverance, the rescue. There is an analogy here between Jesus Christ delivering us from sin on the Cross and delivering us from this body of corruption at the Rapture of the Church.
In doesn’t appear obvious in these verses, but the Shepherd Lover risked his life to rescue his Shulammite Woman! It was well known that to take or try to take anyone out of Solomon’s harem was punishable by death!
In Song of Solomon 6:13, the Daughters of Jerusalem were running after her and shouting for her to return and then they gradually fade out. In the meantime Solomon was left flat and the jealous queen showed up.
“"Come back, come back, O Shulammite; Come back, come back, that we may gaze at you!" "Why should you gaze at the Shulammite, As at the dance of the two companies?” (Song of Solomon 6:13, NASB)
The jealous queen begins to speak. “Why should you gaze at the Shulammite?” This is simply, “What do you see in her, Solomon?” Solomon gives an honest answer, “As at the dance of the two companies?” Solomon was mentioning the majestic panorama of a great battle scene. She was a challenge to everything he wanted.
Now, the big question. Why didn’t Solomon pursue and have the Shepherd Lover killed? The verses here do not say. Solomon may have given up at this point. Also, remember the queen was jealous and being fairly aggressive. Her aggressiveness was based on her mental attitude sins and her frustration.
Immediately she starts a dance, a dance designed to gain the attention of her man. So Solomon now describes in detail the dance of his jealous queen.
In Song of Solomon 7:1, “How beautiful are your feet in sandals” refers to shoes that can make a woman’s feet look beautiful. “O prince's daughter” means she was a queen and very aristocratic at that.
“"How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O prince's daughter! The curves of your hips are like jewels, The work of the hands of an artist.” (Song of Solomon 7:1, NASB)
“The curves of your hips are like jewels” refers to what many men think of as the sexiest part of a woman. This phrase is really referring to her sexual organs. There is no need to be shocked. Every woman is so equipped. Solomon based his wooing on the soul, at least at the start. But here, Solomon is being Solomon and the queen is being the queen and it is flesh all the way!
Why? Because when this scene was over, Solomon and this woman were going to have sex! But physical sex was all it will be. There was no soul relationship! It was just two aggressive human animals clashing in bed!
“Jewels” are used to set off something, to emphasize some beauty spot on the body. Jewelry is not to be used as a status symbol. “The work of the hands of an artist” is talking about a man who is clever and skilled at designing and making jewelry.
In Song of Solomon 7:2, “Your navel” means that Solomon’s eyes and descriptions have worked up to her naval. “Like a round goblet Which never lacks mixed wine” means he is looking at the mid-section of the female anatomy (she only has her shoes on) and he is stimulated as liquor stimulates. As his eyes move upward, his stimulation increases.
“"Your navel is like a round goblet Which never lacks mixed wine; Your belly is like a heap of wheat Fenced about with lilies.” (Song of Solomon 7:2, NASB)
He was then talking about the symmetry of her abdomen. It was saying that she was holding his attention and his eyes were not straying. She could probably wear a bikini and look great. Song of Solomon 7:3 describes the queen’s body symmetry.
“"Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle.” (Song of Solomon 7:3, NASB)
Song of Solomon 7:4 describes her body symmetry further. Her neck was not too long and not too short. She was well proportioned. All the time she was dancing to accent this. This dance was a prelude to sex.
“"Your neck is like a tower of ivory, Your eyes like the pools in Heshbon By the gate of Bath-rabbim; Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon, Which faces toward Damascus.” (Song of Solomon 7:4, NASB)
“Your eyes like the pools in Heshbon” means very clear, deep, blue pools. She had very clear and very pure eyes. “Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon” means a delicately shaped symmetrical nose. Solomon was so mixed up that he could use his descriptive pitch to woo the Shulammite Woman and then turn to another one, his queen, and use the same lines.
In Song of Solomon 7:5, “Your head crowns you like Carmel” says that just as mountains arise out of the distance to give beauty to the horizon, even so does her hair give beauty to her face.
“"Your head crowns you like Carmel, And the flowing locks of your head are like purple threads; The king is captivated by your tresses.” (Song of Solomon 7:5, NASB)
“The flowing locks of your head are like purple threads” doesn’t mean it was dyed purple. Her hair was so black and so attractive that the sheen of the sun on it made it appear as purple. Purple along with scarlet were considered to be the most beautiful and most aristocratic colors of the ancient world. “The king is captivated by your tresses” means he was enjoying this immensely and was sitting there clapping.
Song of Solomon 7:6 refers to Solomon’s short-term happiness with his queen and would enjoy the delights of sex. Unfortunately, Solomon missed the boat. Solomon had an edification complex of the soul or very close to it in his early life, but the thing that wrecked him was scar tissue in his soul from his continual desire for ever more female conquests. This scar tissue ruined him from achieving a soul rapport with any woman. In his older days and younger days, he was great, but in middle age he fell apart.
“"How beautiful and how delightful you are, My love, with all your charms!” (Song of Solomon 7:6, NASB)
Principle 90: Solomon is not a one woman man. He went negative to Bible doctrine and instead pursued every female he could find. He used his power and wealth to do so. What he could never find was the divinely designed soul rapport love that comes only to a man who finds the right kind of woman for him based on what is in her soul. He did not find any true happiness. Song of Solomon 7:1-7.
Principle 91: False aggressiveness meets false aggressiveness and they have physical delight, but sexual delight only as only two human animals can. There is not soul delight. Song of Solomon 7:6 is the case of any port in a storm and each has found their port.
Song of Solomon 7:7 continues with more anatomical symmetry.
“"Your stature is like a palm tree, And your breasts are like its clusters.” (Song of Solomon 7:7, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 7:8, we have Solomon’s final approach. He handled her and embraced her. “Fragrance of your breath like apples” refers to stimulation. Apples were used as smelling salts.
“"I said, 'I will climb the palm tree, I will take hold of its fruit stalks.' Oh, may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, And the fragrance of your breath like apples,” (Song of Solomon 7:8, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 7:9, “your mouth like the best wine” refers to French kissing. “Goes down smoothly” means they are embracing. They are in the sexual act.
“And your mouth like the best wine!" "It goes down smoothly for my beloved, Flowing gently through the lips of those who fall asleep.” (Song of Solomon 7:9, NASB)
How far is too far before you are married? French kissing is too far. Fondling of breasts etc. is too far. When the male is stimulated, you have gone too far.
Act 4 - Song of Solomon 7:10 - 8:4
Act 4 describes the rescue of the Shulammite Woman from the clutches of Solomon. The Shepherd Lover comes to the place of death to rescue her, to the palace of Solomon. We have a description of his arrival. It also records some of the conversation of the two after the rescue.
This is the conversation of the Shulammite Woman and the Shepherd Lover after the rescue as they are traveling in their chariot. Song of Solomon 8 should have begun with Song of Solomon 7:10. In Song of Solomon 7:10, notice the contrast between the previous conversation and now. This is the proper soul desire when a man and woman have found each other. The soul is primary.
“"I am my beloved's, And his desire is for me.” (Song of Solomon 7:10, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 7:11, this is the Shepherd Lover speaking. He was discussing long term activity like getting married and settling down. They had a glorious future ahead of them.
“"Come, my beloved, let us go out into the country, Let us spend the night in the villages.” (Song of Solomon 7:11, NASB)
Principle 92: If you wish to insure a happy future, be patient in your dating to make sure you have taken the time and applied significant Bible doctrine to the dating relationship(s) to discern that they are truly the right one for you. It’s well worth waiting for. Song of Solomon 7:11.
In Song of Solomon 7:12, “There I will give you my love” where love is in the plural. He will give her loves. The plural “loves” refers to soul love and sex love after they have been married.
“"Let us rise early and go to the vineyards; Let us see whether the vine has budded And its blossoms have opened, And whether the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love.” (Song of Solomon 7:12, NASB)
Principle 93: The true love relationship between husband and wife is based on God's design. Their relationship will have a soul rapport love and sexual love after they have been married.
In Song of Solomon 7:13, “Both new and old” refers to the things that must wait until marriage (new) and the fragrance of memories (old) that both will part of the glorious future. She had saved herself for her Shepherd Lover and he had saved himself for his Shulammite Woman. They are going to have a fantastic life together.
“"The mandrakes have given forth fragrance; And over our doors are all choice fruits, Both new and old, Which I have saved up for you, my beloved.” (Song of Solomon 7:13, NASB)
Principle 94: The right kind of man will be a good planner and provider. Song of Solomon 7:13.
Chapter 8 opens with the Shulammite Woman talking. She hasn’t seen her man in a long time and they are in the chariot travelling away from Solomon. She talks about inexperience, which is interesting, and suddenly she turns shy. Here is the one she loves desperately. When he is absent, she has fragrance of memories. When he is present, she is totally occupied with him. Now she is shy!
In Song of Solomon 8:1, she is saying, “I wish you had been my brother because then during all this time I could have loved you without anyone censoring it.” “I would kiss you” uses the same word for kiss as in Proverbs 7:13. It is not the usual word for kiss, but the kiss of a very clever and well-trained prostitute. I would kiss you so that you would be utterly intrigued with me.
“"Oh that you were like a brother to me Who nursed at my mother's breasts. If I found you outdoors, I would kiss you; No one would despise me, either.” (Song of Solomon 8:1, NASB)
One of the problems was that her brothers despised the Shepherd Lover. They had sent her up to be in the northern vineyards where Solomon could see her and they were sure he would take notice of her beauty.
In Song of Solomon 8:2, “I would lead you and bring you Into the house of my mother” is an idiom for a formal engagement. “Who used to instruct me” is the piel imperfect of למד (lâmad) and means to give personal and detailed instructions to her in the art of love making. She felt she would not be a good lover physically. She was responding to him and will be aggressive when they are married. She was saying that she is a good learner! This will be an interesting classroom and it will last the rest of their married lives.
“"I would lead you and bring you Into the house of my mother, who used to instruct me; I would give you spiced wine to drink from the juice of my pomegranates.” (Song of Solomon 8:2, NASB)
Principle 95: No one needs experience in physical love before marriage to succeed in marriage. Song of Solomon 8:2.
In Song of Solomon 8:2, “I would give you spiced wine to drink” means she would make herself physically available to him at all times. “The juice of my pomegranates” is a euphemism. The pomegranate was an erotic female symbol in the ancient world.
Song of Solomon 8:3 implies that he is right-handed. This has been her constant with regard to her Shepherd Lover. Here, she was doing most of the talking.
“"Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me."” (Song of Solomon 8:3, NASB)
Principle 96: Try to develop a good conversational pattern and good listening ability. Many have forgotten how to speak and how to listen with the intent to understand. Most listen with the intent to reply.
Principle 97: Girl-talk can do a lot of damage to a dating relationship. It can do just as much damage as can boy-talk. Song of Solomon 8:4.
“"I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases."” (Song of Solomon 8:4, NASB)
The Daughters of Jerusalem had tried to talk up Solomon’s qualities when they talked to the Shulammite Woman. This was an example of girl-talk. They tried to stir up some enthusiasm. It didn’t work. Because of Bible doctrine, she refused to respond to Solomon, only to her Shepherd Lover.
Act 5 - Song of Solomon 8:5-14
Act 5 is the return of the Shulammite Woman with her Shepherd Lover. This scene describes the comments of the neighbors, her mother’s comments, the brothers who have changed their minds, and the chatter of the public acceptance of the Shepherd Lover. Of course, they get married and live happily ever after.
Bystanders seem to have nothing to do but to watch the traffic. The chariot seems to be the first vehicle of the morning. The mother will speak, the brothers will have their say. It makes for an interesting conclusion. This act begins with the bystanders commenting.
In Song of Solomon 8:5a, “Leaning on her beloved” refers to the two passengers in the chariot kissing passionately.
“"Who is this coming up from the wilderness Leaning on her beloved?" "Beneath the apple tree I awakened you; There your mother was in labor with you, There she was in labor and gave you birth.” (Song of Solomon 8:5, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 8:5b, mama speaks. The mother is defending herself. She is saying that she had taught her daughter to behave better in public that that. She is saying, “You were brought up as a proper young lady. What is this that you are doing?” Every mother sooner or later says, “I taught her to be better than that. She has had better training than that.” “There she was in labor and gave you birth” means she had provided good training to her daughter, the Shulammite Woman.
In Song of Solomon 8:6, the Shepherd Lover is speaking while in the chariot. “Put me like a seal over your heart” is the qal imperative of שׂוּם (śûm) and means to set or impress. “Seal” refers to a signet ring worn between the breasts along with the bundle of myrrh. It signified waiting for the right kind of man and is a symbol of the faith-rest life. When a woman gave her man the signet ring, it meant she belonged to him body and soul. It is a recognition of their mutual soul rapport love. “Your heart’’ refers to the right lobe of the soul including the frame of reference with memory center, the conscience with its norms and standards, and the viewpoint able to think divine viewpoint. Gen. 38:18.
“"Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD.” (Song of Solomon 8:6, NASB)
“He said, "What pledge shall I give you?" And she said, "Your seal and your cord, and your staff that is in your hand." So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him.” (Genesis 38:18, NASB)
There are four ways in which this man fulfills this woman. He fulfills her norms and standards. Song of Solomon 2:3. He gives reality to her romantic dreams and imaginations. Song of Solomon 8:1-3.
“"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, So is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste.” (Song of Solomon 2:3, NASB)
“"Oh that you were like a brother to me Who nursed at my mother's breasts. If I found you outdoors, I would kiss you; No one would despise me, either. "I would lead you and bring you Into the house of my mother, who used to instruct me; I would give you spiced wine to drink from the juice of my pomegranates. "Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me."” (Song of Solomon 8:1-3, NASB)
When he is absent, he provides fragrance of memories. Song of Solomon 1:13, Song of Solomon 4:6. He provides soul stimulation as the basis for sexual stimulation. Song of Solomon 1:16-17.
“"My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts.” (Song of Solomon 1:13, NASB)
“"Until the cool of the day When the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh And to the hill of frankincense.” (Song of Solomon 4:6, NASB)
“"How handsome you are, my beloved, And so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant! "The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses.” (Song of Solomon 1:16-17, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 8:6, “Like a seal on your arm” indicates marriage. “For love is as strong as death” refers to the concept of love as it relates the soul to the body. “Strong” means fortified. This soul love cannot be broken by anything, even death! This love is protective. Mental attitude sins attack all facets of mental attitude love. Prov. 18:22.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22, NASB)
God has set aside time in each life for love between the man and the woman. Certain functions in time can destroy this including not waiting for the right kind of man to show up. Mental attitude sins can destroy this, or alcohol, or drugs, or adultery. Eccl. 3:8.
“A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:8, NASB)
Principle 98: The soul love between husband and wife cannot be broken by anything, even death. Song of Solomon 8:6.
In Song of Solomon 8:6b, “Jealousy is as severe as Sheol” is the Shulammite Woman speaking. “Severe” means harsh, cruel, non-responsive. Just as losing a loved one in death, so does jealousy and other mental attitude sins rob the couple of their soul rapport love.
Principle 99: The greatest enemy of soul rapport love between man and woman are mental attitude sins such as jealousy. In Numbers 5, a whole offering ritual is dedicated to jealousy.
Principle 100: Mental attitude sins rob and cancel out the soul rapport love between husband and wife. See category on Jealousy.
In Song of Solomon 8:6, “Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the Lord” could be translated, “her flames, flames of fire, the intense flame is from the Lord.” This is the passion, the power, and the intensity of the soul rapport love between man and woman. It cannot be duplicated anywhere and is from the Lord!
Principle 101: Nothing can put out the soul rapport love between man and woman. There is no way to destroy what God has planned. You can distort it, you can run from it, you can knock out the happiness, but the soul rapport love between man and woman will remain. Song of Solomon 8:7
“"Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised."” (Song of Solomon 8:7, NASB)
Principle 102: The soul rapport love between man and woman cannot be bought! Song of Solomon 8:7b.
In Song of Solomon 8:8, the chariot has arrived and the two brothers speak. The one brother said that his sister had not yet matured physically, so was not of marrying age. The other brother began to suspect that marriage was closer than they had thought. They had to face it now.
“"We have a little sister, And she has no breasts; What shall we do for our sister On the day when she is spoken for?” (Song of Solomon 8:8, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 8:9, the first brother is speaking and saying, “If she is a virgin (wall), we’ll give her a great dowry, but if she has been promiscuous (door), we will put her in a coffin.
“"If she is a wall, We will build on her a battlement of silver; But if she is a door, We will barricade her with planks of cedar."” (Song of Solomon 8:9, NASB)
The Shulammite Woman speaks in Song of Solomon 8:10 and states that she had indeed matured physically, was a virgin, and that she was ready for marriage. She indicated that this man was designed for her. “Then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace” and refers to grace.
“"I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; Then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace.” (Song of Solomon 8:10, NASB)
Song of Solomon 8:11: She explained how she got into the hands of Solomon. Solomon had a vineyard next door and he intended to rent it out to others. He was checking out this business deal and saw her in the next field (vineyard) chasing foxes.
“"Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon; He entrusted the vineyard to caretakers. Each one was to bring a thousand shekels of silver for its fruit.” (Song of Solomon 8:11, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 8:12, she was expressing her own freedom of choice, her volition. Her right man, her vineyard was her choice (and God’s). Solomon had a 1,000 wives in his harem (she is accurate, check 1 Kings 11:1-9) and 200 Daughters of Jerusalem.
“"My very own vineyard is at my disposal; The thousand shekels are for you, Solomon, And two hundred are for those who take care of its fruit."” (Song of Solomon 8:12, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 8:13, she turned to her Shepherd Lover in front of her brothers and indicated that he had been in her memories, but now he is present and she wants her two brothers to hear his declaration. She wanted to make sure that the brothers know that this was the right man for her.
“"O you who sit in the gardens, My companions are listening for your voice— Let me hear it!"” (Song of Solomon 8:13, NASB)
In Song of Solomon 8:14, she is saying, “Quickly answer them my beloved and we will build up greater memories in the future.”
“"Hurry, my beloved, And be like a gazelle or a young stag On the mountains of spices."” (Song of Solomon 8:14, NASB)