Austin Bible Church
A marriage of a believer and an unbeliever creates problems that are not found in a marriage where both husband and wife are believers. A marriage of a believer and an unbeliever is contrary to the Word of God. 2 Cor. 6:14.
“Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NASB)
What about people who go ahead and marry an unbeliever against God’s will? Their marriage will be very difficult. If the believer has matured spiritually prior to getting married, the marriage has a chance. The believing spouse can exhibit by their behavior, their unconditional agapao love and their personal phileo love for their spouse. They can even win over their spouse to the Lord, if they have positive volition. This true Christian behavior and spiritual discernment can only be from the spiritual life under the filling of the Holy Spirit and by application of the epignosis Bible doctrine in their soul.
If the believing spouse has not matured spiritually prior to marriage to an unbeliever, then the marriage has very poor prospects. Unless they are supported by their unbelieving spouse in their consistent intake of Bible doctrine at a local church, their spiritual growth will be inhibited or will stall out altogether. If the unbelieving spouse is antagonistic to Bible doctrine, then the marriage will indeed be tough.
Marriage of a believer and an unbeliever can also result from one partner accepting Christ after the marriage vows. Salvation of a spouse after marriage vows does not remove the natural repercussions of previous marriages. Also, a believer married to an unbeliever does not provide an excuse to divorce the unbelieving spouse just to get out of a bad marriage. A marriage of believer and unbeliever is not justification for dissolving the marriage. You do not have the biblical right to leave your spouse who wants to continue to be married to you. Biblical principles provide a solution. 1 Cor. 7:12-13.
“But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13, NASB)
If you are an unbeliever, you can turn an unhappy marriage into a happy one by accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior. Your domestic problems are secondary to your relationship with the Lord. You should find a local church that teaches the Word of God from the original languages and consistently learn Bible doctrine under the filling of the Holy Spirit via the grace apparatus for perception. Application of the divine wisdom that comes from the epignosis Bible doctrine in your soul will result in being grace oriented and will renew your thinking about your spouse and your responsibilities in marriage.
The unbelieving spouse may observe the believing spouses behavior and unconditional agapao love even under tough circumstances. The unbelieving spouse will take notice and may accept Jesus Christ as their Savior because the marriage became a continual living witness for the Gospel. 1 Cor. 7:14.
“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.” (1 Corinthians 7:14, NASB)
In 1 Corinthians 7:14, “sanctified” means that the believing spouse becomes the basis of blessing by association for the other spouse. God's grace provides hope for the marriage of a believer and unbeliever. Such a marriage has a better likelihood of succeeding than a marriage of two believers where one of them is antagonistic toward Bible doctrine. A marriage between two believers where one is spiritually advancing and one who opposes Bible doctrine can result in antagonism from the negative spouse toward the positive spouse.
Marriage of two believers can cause great divisions when only one spouse is positive toward Bible doctrine and is motivated to learn all that God has provided. If the negative spouse leaves, the other believing spouse is free. Resist jumping into another marriage. Take some time to grow spiritually before the even considering another marriage. If you are again dating, make sure you complete the attraction phase of the relationship and be well into the compatibility phase before considering getting married again. With more divine wisdom in your soul, you will have more spiritual discernment to correctly recognize the right one that God has brought to you.
If an unbelieving husband or wife walks away from the marriage uncoerced and of their own free will, let them go. You have just gained your freedom. If the marriage bond is broken in a marriage of believer and unbeliever, God only allows it to be done by the unbeliever. If a believing spouse that is negative to Bible doctrine leaves you, let them go. God did not create the divine institution of marriage to be a relationship of slavery.
You need to wait on the Lord’s perfect timing. God will provide for all of your needs in grace at the right time of His choosing. If you do not need another spouse and grow up spirituality, God will protect you through the Bible doctrine in your soul from entering into another bad marriage. By utilization of epignosis Bible doctrine in the soul, the believing spouse can often win the unbelieving spouse to the Lord. 1 Cor. 7:15-16.
“Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:15-16, NASB)
Marital problems are solved by epignosis knowledge in the soul and application of Bible doctrine to those problems. The grace apparatus for perception and faith-rest must be utilized daily in the marriage. 1 Peter 3:1-2.
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” (1 Peter 3:1-2, NASB)
Reasons for remaining in status quo marriage include; the possibility of winning the unsaved partner to Jesus Christ, providing a secure environment for the children, provide stability in a society, accepting the responsibility for one’s decision “for better or for worse,” and recognizing that two wrongs do not make a right.
In a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever, God deals with the family as a whole in addition to dealing with each individual. The believer is dealt with in grace. The unbeliever is dealt with in judgment with emphasis on bringing them to the Lord.
If you are a believer and have gone against God’s will and married an unbeliever or a wrongly divorced person, stay with the marriage as you are not to break it up. Then, confess your known sins via 1 John 1:9 and never look back. God has forgotten it, so should you.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NASB)
You will have problems and natural repercussions in a believer-unbeliever marriage, but your responsibility is to stay filled with the Holy Spirit, learn Bible doctrine, and use the principle of winning the unbelieving spouse to the Lord.
The unbeliever comes under grace, which is extended to the believer because they are in the same household, as do the children. This grace includes a guardian angel, blessing by association when the believer is in fellowship, and at the Rapture, a child who has not reached the age of accountability and/or one who is not capable of making a decision will go to meet the Lord in the air with the believing parent.