Loneliness

Loneliness is a mental attitude induced by isolation from persons, places, or things whether real, promised, or imagined. Loneliness can be present in the believer in fellowship or out of fellowship and in the unbeliever. A certain allotment of time to every individual involves being alone. Jesus Christ was on the Mount of Olives and left His disciples a short distance to pray alone. This was just before He was betrayed by Judas and arrested. Luke 22:39-46.

“And He withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and He knelt down and began to pray, saying, "Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done."” (Luke 22:41-42, NASB)

When the believer is out of fellowship, loneliness breeds self-pity, depression, and paranoid mental aberrations. Job 2:10; Job 3:1; Job 3:11; Job 3:25-26.

“But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.” (Job 2:10, NASB)

“Afterward Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth.” (Job 3:1, NASB)

“"Why did I not die at birth, Come forth from the womb and expire?” (Job 3:11, NASB)

“"For what I fear comes upon me, And what I dread befalls me. "I am not at ease, nor am I quiet, And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes."” (Job 3:25-26, NASB)

When the believer is in fellowship, loneliness draws on good memories (fragrance of memories) and hope as a great sustainer. Song of Solomon 3:1.

“"On my bed night after night I sought him Whom my soul loves; I sought him but did not find him.” (Song of Solomon 3:1, NASB)

Our Lord’s disciples deserted Him when He was arrested. Mark 14:50.

“And they all left Him and fled.” (Mark 14:50, NASB)

Jesus Christ atoned for the sins of mankind alone on the Cross. Mark 15:34.

“At the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, "ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?" which is translated, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"” (Mark 15:34, NASB)

Paul was alone in the second imprisonment because Demas and all others had forsaken him. 2 Tim. 4:10; 2 Tim. 4:16.

“for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia.” (2 Timothy 4:10, NASB)

“At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them.” (2 Timothy 4:16, NASB)

When you are lonely, your thoughts always turn to that which is dearest to you, the dream world that eludes you or the world that might have been, and to yourself. Loneliness can be a time of no details, no noise, no people, no distraction and therefore a good time to think divine viewpoint, but not to overthink!

The vocabulary word “loneliness” is not used in Scripture, rather the term “forsake” which comes close with the resultant mental attitude. In 1 Kings 8:57, “forsake” is נטשׁ (nâṭash) and means to leave, to forsake, to abandon, to cast away.

“"May the LORD our God be with us, as He was with our fathers; may He not leave us or forsake us,” (1 Kings 8:57, NASB)

In Hebrews 13:5, “forsake” is ἐγκαταλείπω (egkataleipō) and means to abandon, to desert, to leave in straits, leave helpless, utterly forsaken.

“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"” (Hebrews 13:5, NASB)

A single person’s loneliness will not be solved by marriage, parties, travel, or people. Neither will crowds dispel loneliness. A single individual and a married individual will both have the same amount of loneliness.

In an apostate society, a woman may be lonely and vulnerable to the reversionist. The greatest loneliness a wife will ever know is when her husband rejects her. Isaiah 54:6-7.

“"For the LORD has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one's youth when she is rejected," Says your God. "For a brief moment I forsook you, But with great compassion I will gather you.” (Isaiah 54:6-7, NASB)

A single woman can look forward to marrying the right kind of man. A married woman who is a believer whose husband has rejected her has nothing but Bible doctrine to look forward to. This is quite a test. Prov. 4:6.

“"Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you.” (Proverbs 4:6, NASB)

The only true solution to loneliness is the consistent intake and application of Bible doctrine. Through spiritual growth, the believer’s thinking becomes renewed by the Holy Spirit and they become able to handle the loneliness because Jesus Christ is always with you and will never forsake you. Heb. 13:5.

The growing believer will learn to apply epignosis Bible doctrine to life’s situations and relationships. Loneliness becomes replaced with meaningful love relationships. First, there is the appreciation for what God has done in His grace that results in a personal love for God. This is a friendship or phileo love. John 15:15.

“"No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15, NASB)

In marriage, there is the friendship love between husband and wife. Song of Solomon; Proverbs 31. Then there is a love relationship with close friends. For example, David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18:1-3 and 2 Samuel 1:26.

“Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” (1 Samuel 18:1-3, NASB)

“"I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful Than the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:26, NASB)

The ultimate solution to loneliness is the maturing believer utilizing their spiritual gift(s) in their spiritual life. Psalm 37:25 refers to prosperity of the time under the reign of David.

“I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken Or his descendants begging bread.” (Psalms 37:25, NASB)